Wake me up when the stars collide
Wake me up when something interesting happens
Wake me up when you're changed.
Until then let me sleep.
For I cannot tolerate the boredom, the monotony
Of a life with you.
No, I will not leave
Neither will I be alive
Until you change
Until then I'll sleep
In front of this mirror
Waiting for you to break the image
And emerge a better me.
A contest entry
- The Most Intresting Options I Can Think Of!!!!!!!! by S D McDaniel.
750 points, ended May 16, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For Poets With 5 Trophys Or less- Pre-Writes by Mercury Rising.
450 points, ended October 3, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
A very interesting twist and a well-crafted tale that was uses suggestive words wisely and sparingly like spices. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering this excelent self-reflective piece.
David
-
Once again through the door of return the favour i have found a gem of a poem.I love the twist this has at the end of it.All the way through i was thinking, Get out of this situation if your not happy with it Never knowing it was a mirrored image you were talking to and about Wonderful
-
interesting!
now this is an interesting twist on the title that I would not have expected! The idea that you want yourself to change, and that you will live in a sleeplike state until you do.... at least, that's what I get from it.
You have an excellent use of vocabulary. This is a classic example of less is more. You didn't use a lot of words, but the few words you do have, convey a well of emotion. Very well done!
I can't think of anything I thought could be improved... except possibly one thing....
Wake me up when you're changed <- could you have meant when you've changed?
other than that, I think this was very well written, and I wish you luck in my contest! -
-
Thank you so much for you kind comments! I really do like the "less is more" style, I find usually the fewer words used to convey an emotion or thought or image, the more powerful it can be!
-
Adding your comment:
