As his smell sweeps over me,
I'm captivated by his eyes.
And his kisses are so sweet,
as he slips between my thighs.
He starts to nibble on my neck,
and his hands slide down my side.
Pressing up against my chest,
I can feel his warmth inside.
I know im safe just where i lie,
for in his arms i feel his strength.
And as he stares into my eyes,
I feel the quicken of his breath.
This is his form of gentle attack.
I see him squirm in extacy,
as he tenses and pulls back,
his essence flowing over me.
After all is said and done,
and im pressed into his arm.
Watching the now rising sun,
his eyes are overcome by charm.
A contest entry
- Dirty..Dirty.. by Cherry Hades.
600 points, ended June 14, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bad Poetry by Bapudi.
400 points, ended June 20, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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haha
I like it. I kept thinking about what Nathan must be thinking...about gettin' lucky. The blatant mention of thighs in the first paragraph caught my eye. The weird line about his eyes being overcome by charm makes it a finalist.
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This is a very sweet write. I liked it..But, Sugar, the contest isn't mushy love poems...It was "Dirty, Dirty."
Consider writing me something else? I like your style, but I would like to see more! -
This was very gentle in your write. I personally don't go for that but I still enjoyed how smoothly it all went together.
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man i worked on this poem for a few hours over a span of days...which is more than i usually do...poetry usualy just comes to me...well...what can i say, it turned out well...i just dont like the last line...it sounds cheesy but i couldnt get n e thing else to fit, is not like it sounds bad, its jut not fully my style....o well...it works
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yeah "charm" wasn't the word I would ffel to be perfect there. It's good but not quite fitting
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