Solitary soul whose pain is worn on the inside
Away from well- meaning platitudes and sighs,
Tormented with a sorrow grown too deep for tears,
And looking for something you can never find,
In a mirror long marred by experience.
Singular agony meets your every effort
To connect in the smallest way
With life as we know it.
The desire to fit dims with every passing trial.
Each small defeat is proof the battle's lost and
Never was worth winning.
You are becoming smaller, shrinking
As your light diminishes.
Cut off from the ties that bind
By a chill blade of your own making
That was forged in the coals of indifference.
There have been those who've railed against your dimming,
Tried to batter down the doors,
Screamed and shouted, cried, cajoled
And bared their souls to help you listen.
But it was all a whisper in the storm that's you.
And now the whirlwind has subsided,
Given way to cold determination
To destruct,
We know
You are Untouchable.
A contest entry
- Anything At All by Heavenly Angel.
26000 points, ended June 9, 2007, 100 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Untouchable~ by Malabu.
525 points, ended June 11, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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It is so painful watching a loved one follow this path, particularly when you have some insight into how they're feeling. Spot on writing.
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Thank you for entering this contest...this was a lovely poem...
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Wow! What a deep and intense piece this is!
Fully describes feelings I have felt myself on too many occassions...
Well done! Thank you for sharing and for being a part of the contest -
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Hi, thank you for the appreciation,
Best wishes to you,
Gilliy
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Really such a deep, tragic message you share here in these lines; so sad to feel this way, to be cut off from others by your own choice. Gret picture - pensive mood - deep in thought, pain, dispair. Liked the flow and the way you expressed these sentment so well..
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Wow. This is really a work of art, such vivid imagery. I can relate to this piece. I love the opening.
Solitary soul whose pain is worn on the inside
Away from well- meaning platitudes and sighs,
Tormented with a sorrow grown too deep for tears,
And looking for something you can never find,
A person hides on the inside how they feel. By internalizing the pain we learn how to do it and keep on doing it until it becomes too much for even the one who carries it. Such a brilliantly written piece. Well Done
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i can really relate to your poem!!! it really brought back alot of memories... thank you for sharing
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Screamed and shouted, cried, cajoled
And bared their souls to help you listen.
But it was all a whisper in the storm that's you
wow waves the despair, the stuck drowning under ice, type depression, and the graduating effects me a tear to old times i know, so empathetic, your metaphors pin point the eternal destructive battles perfectly, AND the stanzas are chosen well, with each ending with a particular aspect of the self destructive mind unto the twist at the end which says with wisdom that when you have become your greatest enemy, there is no external, Alike some worriors journey to recieve strength, thusly so, i salute your pen with OJ -jas
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Excellent
This is an amazing piece. I started, was pulled in and kept until the very end. Beautifully sad. - It fit the bill. Well done. ~Pamela
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