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Perfect Illusion

Ice cold is the blood I can feel in my veins
Tough is my head as its playing games
You are the one who can save my heart
I am the one who will break yours apart

Burning is the kiss left on my skin
Centuries is when it was burnt in
You have the power to heal me
I may the power only to make you bleed

Last night I could only go asleep
If I knew you would be haunting my dreams
Today I could only stay awake
If I knew that it was my hand you would take
Perfect illusion

Stinging is the words in my head
White is my blood that should be red
You may believe that you love this
I may believe it is all just a trick

Bruised is song that you said was mine
Blinding is the sun I don’t want to shine
You say that you cannot pretend
I say that my heart soon will end

Last night I could only go asleep
If I knew you would be haunting my dreams
Today I could only stay awake
If I knew that it was my hand you would take
Perfect illusion

Wrong is all the feelings that I feel
I don’t want to think that they are real
Love has only ever broken down
And not again can I bear to hit the ground

Last night I could only go asleep
If I knew you would be haunting my dreams
Today I could only stay awake
If I knew that it was my hand you would take
Tomorrow I will only say your name
If I know that I will want to say it again
And now I will only go to you
If I know that you actually need me to
Perfect illusion

Author notes

She's nothing you'll ever know, succumbing to perfection, lost in translation

the worse thing i have ever done (forgotten option number)

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • over the rainbow--x
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'Bruised is song that you said was mine
    Blinding is the sun I don’t want to shine
    You say that you cannot pretend
    I say that my heart soon will end'

    forgot that^^
    Was my favourite stanza lol
    ♥


  • over the rainbow--x
    January 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really really liked this,
    I loved the refrain.

    Thanks for entering [=
    ♥


  • masky
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting way of thinking of an illusion, dear poet. I am pleasantly surprised.
    As a big plus, I'd have to say I like the rhyme in this poem. It's just so...perfect
    As suggestions, I could only say something about the second stanza, second line:
    "Centuries since when it was burnt in"
    Sounds better this way.
    Also, just a thing that got my attention: The way you ended some of the stanzas with "perfect illusion". You could as well remove it-the reader will be challenged to think about the meaning of the title more. But then again, seeing these are lyrics, maybe it sounds okay when sang.
    My favorite verse is the last one:
    "Last night I could only go asleep
    If I knew you would be haunting my dreams
    Today I could only stay awake
    If I knew that it was my hand you would take
    Tomorrow I will only say your name
    If I know that I will want to say it again
    And now I will only go to you
    If I know that you actually need me to"
    Though, I would suggest something for the last two lines:
    "And now I'll only reach for you,
    If I know you really need me to."
    Also, a suggestion for the whole poem: add some punctuation, it will improve its quality.
    Congratulations on a great piece, thank you for entering, and good luck!


  • Horseartist7
    July 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow im speachless. good luck in the contest!


  • adarkling
    July 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    I like this it's dark and meaningful, Feels more like a song, but isn't a song just a poem that is sung anyway! A lot of mixed feeling in this. Well done and thank you for the entry!


  • forbidden-colour
    June 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering,
    I enjoyed this!
    Perfect title, layout, ect.x.

    x


  • Forlorn Dreams
    June 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Bravo

    my favorite part:
    "Last night I could only go asleep
    If I knew you would be haunting my dreams
    Today I could only stay awake
    If I knew that it was my hand you would take
    Tomorrow I will only say your name
    If I know that I will want to say it again
    And now I will only go to you
    If I know that you actually need me to
    Perfect illusion "
    this is very good i love the repeating stanzas. it really gives it that sence of clarity. i love the title and how you tied it in. im not sure what else to say other than beautifuly written poem. thankyou for entering and goodluck
    Cookie


  • SoftlyScreaming
    June 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i liked how you made it rhyme and not sound forced.. it was really good acctually, what a loving poem because i could feel how much you wanted to care, and how much he cared about you, yet you would only hurt him.. to me it was good.. good luck in the contest, you should check mine out its called Killing is Fun

  • Virgoan
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is more than an illusion but I agree that it is indeed perfect.

    My favorite lines:

    Last night I could only go asleep
    If I knew you would be haunting my dreams
    Today I could only stay awake
    If I knew that it was my hand you would take
    Perfect illusion

    I like the flow and the words used. The lyrical approach made into this poem is great.

    Awesome write.

    Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest.

    ~VIRGOAN~


  • Drevin Revlocke
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I liked it. It was phrased a little weird but it was still enjoyable. I like the contrasting thoughts that go into this. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.

  • SecretMe15
    May 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was a nice, strong write. I liked it, because it was different and it sounded like you took your time with it. That's just what i'm looking for. I wish you the best in my contest.


  • SarahEatsAirplane
    May 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm. Lovely poem darling. It really speaks to me, and I can understand what you are talking about. The form you wrote it in was a bit touch for me to let flow through my brain, but I still got it, I really like this.
    ggreat job.


  • gothkat2
    May 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    cool i like it


  • Dark Reaper
    May 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    now i can say i have read it but i cant comment cause i was meant to go 5 mins ago talk soon hun
    T

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