Falling on my knees I bow
Feeling my sun shining away from me
By the side of mine I saw
A deep hazy shadow through me
And now that it happened to me
I don’t want to lose my guide
I don’t want to soothe my ride
And I stair at my brothers who fight by my side
They knew that now it’s too late
They thought that couldn’t be my fate
And I said
A countdown through this revelation
I’m taken aback by this reverberation
I told my family I’ll be back again
It still sounds with every drop of rain
Bullets can’t cram anymore into my brain
And I wish you’ll be able to tell
There’s no more respect
For their regre…
And my spirit chose my breath to tease
For once It is God the one I please
And pray
Reveal your light in me
A contest entry
- Final Stand by DeadofKnight.
525 points, ended July 14, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Start with Darkness...End it with Light by LadyLavender.
750 points, ended July 30, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Very Deep! Keep writing.
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Those last lines were exquisite. They brought this piece to a wonderful close. Well done and good luck in the contest.
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waaaaaw!!!!!!! that was so deep
i like a lot. 7abbet
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you're know what deep is about
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And my spirit chose my breath to tease
For once It is God the one I please
And pray
Reveal your light in me
AWESOME , AMAZing and as jhonnt said quite enchanting to be honest those last lines took my breath away wow you keep on rocking and i bow to you and to your great pen
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what can i say about your comment but the most expression that i like: how wow!
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And my spirit chose my breath to tease
For once It is God the one I please
And pray
Reveal your light in me
now thats interresting,
beyond the great imagery and flow, the subject of this poem is so enchating and i can so relate to this .
very good job my friend, keep on
peace,
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