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Flowers

Natural beauty remains here,
every blemish disappears
With the sun's rays, appears a radiant glow,
and happiness is all that the light can show
What a wonderful feeling,

these works of nature are so appealing

Diminish all concerns,

alas, blessedness returns

 

Suddenly with ease,

comes a brilliant breeze

Blows these away,

we knew this feeling wouldn't stay

This pleasantness is shattered,

all over, the petals are scattered

Happiness will soon disappear,

all we have left is fear

 

Another one shall soon bloom,

and the cycle will resume

This radiance is so delighting,

these are so inviting

This will soon be a thing of the past,

but, they will be back fast

Another summer season will finish,

and they will soon diminish

 

 

 

 




 

Copyright {c} 2007 Hannah Duffin {All Rights Reserved}

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • One Eunique Pixie
    May 23, 2007

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    OK, out of the three this one is my favorite, however line number 4 is a contridiction that kind of throws the whole piece off. You should take out the sorrow, and find another rhyme...something like:

    With the sun's rays appears a radiant glow,
    and happiness is all that the light can show

    or whatever, it doesnt have to be that just something besides sorrow, because sorrow is ALL wrong there....


    • starXcrossedxlover
      May 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      i was thinking that every time i reread it haha, I originally put it b/c i noe ppl who LIKE the feeling of sorrow, which i think is super wierd, but okay haha, so yea. But I love the example you put! yay! I'm gonna use that! it sounds rly ely nice
      haha thanks


  • xXxWorthlessxXx
    May 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is a great write with good rhythm and imagery thanks so much for entering


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    May 15, 2007

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    A good poem about nature, very descriptive and rhyming and rhythm pretty good.
    One typo, pleasantNess needs an 'n'
    Inviting not invitining.
    Despite thise errors a good poem
    All the best in the contest...Sue


  • Flossy
    May 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It's pretty good. You are able to come up with many creative words to describe what you see. Your rhyming does seem a bit forced though, since the rhyming words are right beside each other.

1 - 5 of 5