A bitter breeze blows cross the land
ice forms on the silver lake
Twelve wolves bay to the rising moon
Praying for prey to take
It’s been four long nights since they last dined
five cruel bitter days
So they howl of hope to the beautiful moon
Longing for her praise
But the moon ignores their hungry song
There will be no feast tonight
She turns a deaf and callous ear
To the earthly beings plight
Hunger burns as the days go by
and their howls grow ever weaker
Till one succumbs in the dead of night
and the moon finally hears the speaker
Patricia Gibson-Little
July 28, 2003
Author notes
Not sure about the this one. Did it make sense to the reader? And what about the title? Don't know where it came from, I wrote a poem that was too long for this contest (I forgot about the 20 lines rule) and I was about to give up, when this pome started to flow.
Patti
Written July 28th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- wolves- 20 lines or less by .
250 points, ended August 10, 2003, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Excellent
A sad but, all too often, true story. Excellent way of illustrating the harsh reality of the animal kingdom. Wonderful poem.
Mark -
it flowed, i understood it, and 'twas sad indeed how it had to end, but, that added drama was a good touch.
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awesomely written =)
As I keep getting up this list of poems it seems that each one is so good. I'm glad this isn't my contest..I'd have a hard time picking winners >.< but anyways, really good poem. The ending was sad, not like how I thought it would end, and I liked that :)Sometimes good things don't always happen in nature :/ Best of luck in the contest hun, I'm adding this poem to my favs
~*~Angel~*~
*Sarah*
"Do not be frustrated that your banana tree cannot bear mangoes"
The Buddha' -
Yes, the twelve wolves, I can imagine a pack of wolves baying at the moon for it's blessing as though worshipping it as myth would make it seem. This I enjoyed, no faults I could spot. Great work.
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OK. Excellent work with the narrative/story subject matter. The story uses good environmental imagery. Rhymes work. The meter flows, nice howling beat/meter. Sad story, but hey that's what their world is like sometimes.
Title: Ok.
Title Suggestions: Twelve Howls.
Good good poem.
Edited on Jul 30, 2:32 p.m. because ''. -
I liked this one and i thought the ending
line was especially good.
That howl is unforgettable.
RR -
so sad, heartbreaking,
and wonderfully done.
i think this poem makes perfect sense-
the flow is wonderful, you did a great job of rhyme.
i especially like the second stanza.
~Clare
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