We float in orbit,
Warmed, dancing around the sun,
Gracefully aging.
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We float in orbit,
Warmed, dancing around the sun,
Gracefully aging.
Thank you for entering my ku contest. Sometimes I wonder how gracefully it is actually aging. -
This is an interesting poem and gives excellent imagery. On the other hand for this contest you need one more syllable in your middle line. Some hiaku artis are strick 5-7-5 and others are not. By nature I am not, but this contest is 5-7-5 and a strict code of old school haiku. I just want you to know I like this pooem and if you can fix it that woud be cool.
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Very sorry about that, first time it's happened! Turns out I'm not perfect after all... DAMN!
All fixed now...
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awesome
"we're old... and counting.."
very blunt. also very green
love it though. some are not so gracefully aging. they're FREAKING.
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Very well said
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Excellently blunt and yet Haiku. Good show!
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wow
wow
wow
wow
wow
very very coooool
its perfect!!!
seriously!
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