Honest
she stands
naked on the beach
front catching waves
with her hands. The whispers
the screaming gulls -- unheard.
Conversation --
a sensation
so much wind
fingers on her skin.
She returns to her island.
The dog waits patiently
friends gather at the table
the card games fill the night.
She and I share language lessons
we study the texture of words
how feelings transform meaning.
Distance -- a calculation with permanent effect.
We blow dust off history to share stories
create myths and spin legends. Still,
I cannot tell you who she is. I only
trace her passing and memorize moments.
Balancing a glass of brandy on a knee
watching the sea drink fire from the sun
she types thoughts onto the computer
tells me she sees me in my every word.
In a list
A contest entry
- A tribute to Dalaney34 by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
475 points, ended May 25, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 48 of 48
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Aww, this is wonderful. I don't really know Lane but I am sure she just appreciated the heck out of this. The last three stanzas are just brilliant. Amazing how you can share so much of yourself with someone and they you and you can still now know much. Love this one.
Love,
Ash
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So you decided to follow the Silence list
yes she loved this. We have never met. And truthfully, I doubt we ever will. But being me, it really doesn't matter. if I ever publish. If I am ever viewed by the public at large she will be known by them only because I will paint her so beautifully in these poems. So it really doesn't matter if I meet her. Love, will be served.
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Aww, that is very true. Some how it always does.
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Well written,
...and no we can't hide the color of our heart. If we could we wouldn't be poets.
Awesome, job, congrats on the silver
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Anything more than thank you would gild the bunnies ears
Tom B.
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Congrats on the silver...I knew you would
place in this contest, and I want to say how
very much I love your words. I will print
this out and frame it. Thank you, sweet Poet.
Love to you, Lane
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Such languid thoughts flowing in honesty and devote
language. The things you two share put in their place; the things still unknown, in passing are traced
So exceptional in it's effortless grace, Blue
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Thanks for sharing your delight. I am always glad to share joy in the Light.
Love, Tom B.
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thanks...
she types thoughts onto the computer
tells me she sees me in my every word.
Treuly an honest heart is here..thanks for the kind work for my contest my friend...
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Your welcome,
Love, Tom B.
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To feel forever...
It is said that like attracts like. Surely, we see what is in the realm of our thoughts as easily as what is in the realm of our vision. "Traced in passing and memorized in moments" hints of substantial recognition older than the recreation of myths and legends.
Gentle, but stirring, Deja vu.
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I wanted to write a tribute. Perhaps the color of my heart leaked through.
All I really wanted to do in the end is touch people deeply enough to have them want to read more of her. Perhaps we can never really hide our feelings when we are being true to our art. Love, Tom B .
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What a read this is! so soft and gentle! just amazing! If you ask me this is worth the gold! Best of luck in the contest!!!!!!
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Thanks for the praise. I think kindness and appreciation are always good to project. I appreciate you sharing your joy with me. It is so nice to hear. Love, Tom B.
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Simply beautiful! The rapport you share with this woman, and the descriptive words, makes for warmth and sychronicity. Awesome read!
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I simply wanted to write a tribute that was more of a reflection than a laud. I wanted to enchant the reader so they would become intrigued and discover and come to love her. I know, inspite of myself, I did.
Love, Tom B.
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Beautiful
You have such a sweet passion and beauty for women. It's wonderful and so nice to read. This reminds me of days when encounters typing to someone who I couldn't see but knew was so provocative with endless possibilities. I love how you can tap into that perfect emotion and embrace it in your piece. Beautiful as always.
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Thanks. I write from what I feel and perceive. I try to entice, lure, draw in my reader my speaking to the heart. I appreciate your insights and thoughts. Always a gift.
Love, Tom B.
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Very thoughtful write. I thought it is beautiful. The person you are writting about has great insight of your words. Very good read. Good luck in the contest.
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We share joy. What more could you ask for from a fellow poet. The grace and dance of her words are well worth the visit. Thanks for your kind words and praise.
Love, Tom B.
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Wonderful! The smooth lines flow smoothly to ink a person in new, unused phrase, it's almost like a song!
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A tribute is a challenge. I didn't want to be fawning or full of empty praise. I wanted to capture a sense and create a desire to see what Lane has created.
I am glad that you enjoyed the lyricism of the poem and felt the joy contained.
Love, Tom B.
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as tributes go , this has to be the "piece de resistance".From the beginning stanza to the end it is a thought process that transfers from the author to the reader and speaks of dreams, imagination, wishes and secrets of the heart that we all feel [fantasy vs reality]and delving in fantasies is what keeps us sane and hopeful as well. For as long as we believe in dreams and faerytales we can live them [even though rarely in reality]I do know that for me it is a very important part of daily life , no matter how horrible the day...I know it will end and eventually my mind clears and opens to create myths and spin legends around anything or anyone I choose to at that moment. Best wishes in this contest and thank you for the sigh and slow exhale
much love
xoxoxoxoxo
renie
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As artist, we create dreams and yet at the same time speak to the truth found in the moment. If I must create I would rather create the glorius and touch the sublime than pander in mud or think a temple of pain is a worthy creation.
Thanks for all your beautiful thoughts and the way your words dance in my heart. Love, Tom B.
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beautiful!
Such a breathtaking poem!
I love the lines:
"Conversation --
a sensation
so much wind
fingers on her skin."
So beautiful, my friend...
Bravo!
Lynda
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Funny what catches the heart or thrills the mind. I had to do a couple of drafts to get this right. The conversation verse was written to catch one aspect of Lane and to heighten the sensual quality that pervades so much of her writes. I am delighted and honored that it touched you. Love, Tom B.
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"We blow dust off history to share stories
create myths and spin legends. Still,
I cannot tell you who she is. I only
trace her passing and memorize moments."
Ahhh, this is a lovely & eloquent penning, my Friend...Lane will absolutely adore it...& you even more for writing it...Good luck in the contest, Sweetie...Wonderful stuff, Poet...
Wanda
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I thank you for the compliment. Tributes are always such a pain to make work. I wanted to capture enough of who Lane is that it would intrigue the reader and have them read her.
Love, Tom B.
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Very good!
This poem makes you feel as if you are there. -
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Thanks
I just wanted to give the reader a moment in the prescence of someone I delight in.
Love, Tom B.
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Tom, I don't know anything about the woman you wrote this about, but she sounds very....fascinating.
My favorite lines are:
"We blow dust off history to share stories create myths and spin legends"
and
"Balancing a glass of brandy on a knee watching the sea drink fire from the sun"
These create exceptionally vivid images for me.
Lovely lovely!
(Good to hear from ya)!
Crissy
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Each and every line is sensational. There is so much attention to detail. I love your wording, as always... I wanted to be on that island just to capture a moment of the beauty... though I would have settled for the sand. You are amazing.
Love you always,
Mel
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It is both metaphor and detail. These make things real, feelings and images. I tried to capture a few. Thanks for sharing your joy.
Love, Tom B.
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good luck in the contest with this wonderful creation there is perfection in every word,
these parts particularly touched me deeply:
We blow dust off history to share stories
create myths and spin legends. Still,
I cannot tell you who she is. I only
trace her passing and memorize moments.
Balancing a glass of brandy on a knee
watching the sea drink fire from the sun
she types thoughts onto the computer
tells me she sees me in my every word.
these lines are so so amazing
how could anyone not fail to see the beauty in your work.
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People fail to see beauty all the time. Why else could we be so cruel to each other. Still I am glad you found it.
Love, Tom B.
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This was a beautiful tribute, I find them at times difficult to do myself...but you seem to have executed this as though it were not a task at all, that a tribute in itself Beautiful penning ~Tia
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You are too kind. Tributes are hidieously hard to write. I am glad this doesn't show. It is bad for my masculinity I just sat still and finally it wandered up and I caught it. Missed a few times but I think this poem wanted to live with me so in the end it walked right into my pen.
Love, Tom B.
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Lane will so enjoy the feelings and thoughts in this tribute, the dance of life she gives us shows abundantly in your portrayal. Love, C
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Thank you. I drove to Phili from DC and for three hours up and three hours down let the hum of tires be my blackboard.
Love, Tom B.
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pretty
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cute
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Is that how you do it? She and I have always communicated by carrier bunny. (The fact they can't swim does present problems, but we are designing a hovercraft for them) Probably just as well as all my notes are filled with irreverence. But I had some extras and stopped by to share with you. Nice tribute.
Three bunnies loaded with messages. I have no idea what they say, I was drunk.
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Scuba. Submarines. Let them bumb her ankles in the surf, then surface at her feet. The machinery is always the message. The courier there only to make it personal. Words are waterfalls.
Love, Tom B.
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A wonderful,warm poetic tribute that traces the essence of the poetess and lets her spirit soar,especially liked the penultimate stanza,enjoyed this piece and feel it has a good chance of being placed within the podium of the treasure chest of the heart,delightful dear poet
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I always love the character and insight of your comments. Tributes drive me crazy. There is something about them that makes it difficult to craft a gentle, loving, caring piece. I am glad that this feels successful to you. I just wanted to capture a sense of her as well as a feeling. It appears I have done so. Thanks.
Love, Tom B.
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'Balancing a glass of brandy on a knee
watching the sea drink fire from the sun
she types thoughts onto the computer
tells me she sees me in my every word'
Brady thoughts by a fire, she types and tells me she see's every word! Wonderful poem! ~Sie
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glad you could enjoy my little tribute. Love, Tom B.
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