The first time I saw a gray brick,
I knew precisely what I had to do.
My pudgy five year old fingers
plunged
into the crayon box,
rooting for a red
and were determined to set things right.
Nothing was ever broken... it was just colored the wrong way.
I didn't blame God for my new crusade,
my quest to BRICK RED conquer the concrete,
to GRASS GREEN govern the wheat fields,
to BARK BROWN bully the birches,
to SKY BLUE subdue the rainy days,
Clearly, to my superior five year intellect,
He had just forgotten.
Armed with cannons of Crayola,
I knew that the world would soon be
Picture book perfect.
Of course, it came as quite a shock
when I found out
He had not adorned me with
the popular palatte.
How I longed to be colored
IN CROWD PERIWINKLE
or DUMB JOCK APRICOT
or DATING THE CHEERLEADER LAVENDER
instead of
GEEK MAUVE
AWKWARD NEON GREEN
and OH SO LONELY BLUE.
But the worst,
the most painful discovery
was when I discovered
that God had colored my heart
the wrong way.
You see, with all the
ROMAN CATHOLIC MAROON
and
SPARKLING FAMILY VALUES WHITE,
there was no room,
none,
for HOMOSEXUAL PEA SOUP GREEN.
Wrapped in wax garments,
I colored myself,
covered myself,
in 8-COLOR masks
and Yellow Cardboard Box Armor-
and my tears were
BITTER AZURE
and
GOD BLAMING TURQUOISE.
I was surrounded by nonbrown birches
greenless wheat
cloudy skies
and anchored within,
a heavy Gray Brick
in the pit
of my stomach.
My last thought scribbled away in my mind
as I hit the gritty pavement,
and the box slipped from my fingers
and scattered around me in a halo of spear shaped shades,
"If only I had a
single
red
crayon."
Author notes
Inspired by the photo for the contest. I'm really not usually this dark, I swear.
Option #9 in the cruelty contest.
In a list
A contest entry
- 24 hr contest or at my discretion by Celticmoon.
300 points, ended May 19, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 50+ lines, prewrites welcomed by unraveled.
900 points, ended August 12, 2007, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - suicide poems that don't suck by aeolia.
380 points, ended January 1, 2008, 104 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Social Prejudice and Cruelty by duana.
300 points, ended December 8, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LGBT History Month (Feb. 2008) by Laura-Critchley.
850 points, ended February 23, 2008, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For GLBT poets...... by wish you loved me.
375 points, ended April 6, 2008, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GBLT!!!! Especcially T!!!! by Condemd RyeZing.
450 points, ended July 26, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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WOAH
this is brilliant. so amazing and touching. great job, seriously.
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That is incredible! Brilliant writing.
The use of clever crayon names (Crayola should hire you, seriously), colors as metaphors, and misunderstanding of the reality of colors as a representation of a child's idealism are all just... perfect!
I'm so envious I didn't think of this!
Whatever you are, whatever color, you are amazing and talented - so don't change a thing!
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That was great! Awesome poem.
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So much detail and the way you conveyed yourself and your story was truly amazing. Nice job.
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WOW
great imagery here... i never have read something quite liek this before.. i can relate completely... we grow up thinking everything should be "Picture perfect" until we realize that nothing really is...
anyway, wonderful job. best of luck in this contest!
~Jenn -
Damn... wow.
Title: Loved it.
Theme: Loved it.
Metaphors: Loved it.
Style: Loved it.
Format: Loved it.
Poem: Loved it.
You've left me... speechless.
Thank you so much for entering this poem into this contest.
Take care and thank you again,
Laura. <3 -
This one hits home because you are not vague about the agenda you have: homosexuality. Without your honest disclosure this poem could have fit just about any agenda out there. Some people get treated this way because they are poor, because they don't come from the right family, because they were not raised with 'red' standards, because they don't have the perfect barbie image. Everyone longs for the red crayon, and they believe in the red wagon, and blue sky and green grass, until they realize they are not good enough for it, and must live in the brown grass, grey skies, and play with the chipped rusted brown wagon. Very sad. I hope one day you think beyond the homosexual agenda, because the problem runs so much deeper than that....something it appears you must understand given your first 90% of the poem. I was surprised that you picked homosexuality as 'the' issue, but that is the 'hot issue' I suppose these days, or maybe that is from personal experience. Anyway, you are an extremely talented poet, and very intelligent, so I encourage you to look at the issue of discrimination from an even wider perspective! Duana
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wow, this is extremely powerful. Very well written. I think your creativity with style was so effective or you wouldn't have gotten your point across, and we wouldn't have felt every feeling you are feeling. Very good job.
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oops... that was suspose to be a smiley.
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i really liked this... things don't always appear how they are 'suspose' to be. i like PEA GREEN; myself.
) ) -
Wow. This poem really spoke to me.
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Wow, this is about the most creative poem I've ever read on this subject. I like the metaphor and images here a lot, it's all so original. I'm astonished that this has only earned you a green trophy, you deserve gold in my eyes.
~Diana
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Thanks! You're too kind!
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This is really really good. I love all the colours you refer to and the story itself, how everything was supposed to be picture book perfect and by the end it was anything but...very powerful.
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You see, with all the
ROMAN CATHOLIC MAROON
and
SPARKLING FAMILY VALUES WHITE,
there was no room,
glad I am not like that -
wow, really flipping neat poem you have here. i like the stanza about wanting to be part of the in crowd. the start and finish were beautiful ways to end this captivating story, i honestly don't have suggestions for improvement on here. the story, metaphors, imagery, and style are all fantastic throughout. thanks for the wonderful entry
cassidy
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98
The social comment on tolerance ...what is learned by upbringing is interesting. You did a great job conveying it. -
This is definately a uniqe piece of poetry. I have to admit I do like how you incorporated the variety of colors and connected them to various images in your surroundings of everyday life that we have a tendency to take for granted all too often. Thanks for entering and good luck!
Blessings
Bel
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I love this piece. You have a very fine piece here dear poet. It was very enjoyable to read. You choice of words was excellent along with the flow of the piece. Fantastic job. Keep up the great work. =]
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This is a wonderful extended metaphor. You draw out such intense feelings using color. Great write!!
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Nothing was ever broken... it was just colored the wrong way.
&&
How I longed to be colored
IN CROWD PERIWINKLE
or DUMB JOCK APRICOT
or DATING THE CHEERLEADER LAVENDER
instead of
GEEK MAUVE
AWKWARD NEON GREEN
and OH SO LONELY BLUE.
&&
and
GOD BLAMING TURQUOISE.
AMAZING
Should have started reading your work sooner
Great ideas
throughts
decriptions
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Phenomenal write.
Sometimes the colors we have to draw with don't fit our style. Beautiful creativity.
Buddy
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