Once in a while
I sit and think
About many deep matters.
Maybe I can let you in on
A few of these,
Since it feels good
To unload your heavy thoughts.
About heaven and hell,
I believe in both.
If you believe in heaven,
Why don't you
Believe in hell?
Doesn't evil have to be punished?
I don't feel like
I DESERVE heaven.
I believe heaven is a gift,
Given to all
who truely believe.
I believe.
Do you?
I see others as
Of this world,
Me as an alien
To this world.
I feel like I
Don't really belong.
Even so, I am
A loyal friend,
And a pleasure raiser,
In the sense that
I like to make others
Happy because I can't
Stand unhappiness.
I feel separate somehow.
When I attend funerals,
I see people cry,
And I want to join them
In their griefs,
But I cannot cry.
I feel unnatural.
Left out.
To make myself feel better,
I create wacky,
Laughable poems.
They may seem strange,
But they make me feel good.
All I want to know
Is what people think
About me,
And how then I would
Improve myself,
Making me more human.
Author notes
I do truely feel not human. Also, I can't cry. It is a very weird feeling. I trained myself not to because of what happened in second grade, but that is a different story. I go to funerals, seeing all the emotion, wanting to join in, but not being able to. I get thoughts of people thinking I am a cold-blooded, unfeeling person, but I'm not. I just can't express myself physically. One time my parents left me at home when the rest of the family went to a party, just because I couldn't find my glasses. I was so angry, I tried to cry ON PURPOSE. It was so hard. It actually physically hurt to try. It hurt my stomach, throat, eyes, and head. I succeeded in making my eyes begin to water, but by that time my family came home, and I ran to my room, not wanting them to see my red eyes. Right there on my bed were my glasses! I practically went insane. Trying to cry for nothing! (To tell the truth, I don't even know why I wanted to cry. I just had the sudden urge to want to.) If you made it all the way through these notes, I congradulate you, and hope you got something useful out of them.
A contest entry
- Did deep into your honesty and find YOU by Janice M Pickett.
450 points, ended May 14, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Feel free to comment on anything. If you have similar feelings or beliefs, I encourage you to shout out! Make yourself more human!
Comments
-
Thankyou for entering my contest
I don't see why you should have to cry. Is it a physical problem of no tear ducts or is it because you don't feel sad about situations such as weddings and funerals?
Does anything cause you to cry?
You appear to have a very matter of fact attitude to life which causes you a deeper level of acceptance than most. You have expressed yourself well here and given me a great insite into your depth. I hope you felt good writing it.
Jan
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