For Mother, on Mother's Day

For Mother on Mother’s Day

Mother, ever since you’ve been gone
My need for a mother and daughter reunion
Is till very much felt.

Ever since you’ve been gone
Life has been existing without a God
There’s nobody to reproach or praise you
Punish or reward you
You are left alone with your own ethics and values
As guidelines.

Mother, ever since you’ve been gone
I have not wanted to identify with you
But everywhere I’m reminded of
Your loving and giving ways
Your emotional strength in times of trouble
Your ability to give sage and sound advice
Your good sense of business orientation
And the extravert and party animal you were

Ever since you’ve been gone, mother
I see the emotional and biological connection
And instead of avoiding the maternal association
I feel I’m constantly looking for things to remember you by
And wanting to reencounter you mom
Relearn everything I wished I could be
Rediscover myself in you.

Ever since you been gone
I blame myself and how we never could relate together
I think back on my rebellious years
And how we could never get past that stage.
I wish we could have grown old together
And you feel good of what I have become.

I don’t want to live and finish out
You life either
neither live in fear
between matriphobia and matridentity
but that in the struggle to become myself
I can embrace completely
The differences and similarities
And tell you that I feel blessed
To have been provided with
Such powerful model
that I know where I belong  and
acting as mirror and reflection to myself
gives me support,  dignity
self-confidence.

Rosa Arlotto
May 12, 2007.