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Life in Roatan

Missing image

A perfect moment.

Swinging,

         swishing,

                        swirling
ocean humming in unison with our heart beats
blue sky
          aqua sea
                        perfect horizon
peace-filled paradise.

I hold you close
close to my bones
near to my source
almost two in one body
almost three in two bodies
together not separate
unborn yet alive.

New life in paradise
           birthing hope
                         bringing forth a child
at last
            after all the strife
                          after all the chaos
the time is now.

Now will remain forever
this beautiful moment
never ends.


I promise myself
I will never forget.

You, me, and little unborn Elaine
in Roatan -
on the tip of the island
with the ocean and perfect horizon
absorbing us
              keeping us safe
                              loving us
through out time
for all eternity
the same today, yesterday
and tomorrow

A perfect moment.

Author notes

PROMP: I KNOW GOD LOVES ME, EVEN THOUGH

 

The rest of this story is sad. I lost the baby and never did have my own child. But that moment - when Bill and I were in Roatan and I was pregnant - that moment on the water's edge, looking out over the horizon - that moment was perfect and the most beautiful moment of my life.

 

Written as a rememberance for Mothers' Day May 13, 2007.

 

Entered for Option  #7 – Tell me about a moment that you would live over and over if you could...

 

 

graphic  taken from http://www.condorjourneys-adventures.com/images/honduras_anthoney2.jpg

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Comments

1 - 40 of 40

  • echo-ink
    February 1

    Edit | Reply

    I'm sorry,
    This was beautiful.


  • Stevie.me
    December 28, 2008

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    4.6 out of 5

    I judged your poem in 5 criteria on a scale from 1 to 5

    5 senses- 3 I looked really hard but only found 3

    Metaphors- 5 wonderful job here

    Feeling-5 extremely moving

    Unity-5 your visual flow helped tie your poem together great idea, great verbal and visual unity

    flow-5 it flows very good

    average rating - 4.6 out of 5


  • Heavens Child
    May 4, 2008

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    This an incredible poem. I can relate to the feelings and the sadness of losing a child. Beautifully written. May God always be your strength. Best wishes and thank you for entering.


  • Tarja
    January 1, 2008

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    Congrats on the gold, the silver and the honorable mention trophy. As a woman... who is not yet a mother but does so long to be... I cannot tell you how much this piece made me smile... and then weep once I got to the author's notes... That is just so depressing. I am very sorry for your loss. But at least you have that moment to live in with your husband and Elaine. Thank you so much for sharing your moment with me and good luck.


  • Denierim
    September 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a beautiful poem with gentle atmosphere that takes the reader with you to that small moment. I love the simple yet beautiful wording and the form you used with this one. It strengthens the importance of that simple moment in your life.

    I'm sorry to hear the moment didn't last further than that. But only the fact that you wrote this poem shows that you will carry that moment through eternity. And that's the most important thing about life; taking the good memories with you, no matter how painful they may be.

    This is by far one of the best poems I've read in a long while. Wonderful work!


  • Frodofan silver member
    July 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I am so sorry that this happened to you.

    Congrats on the trophies.

    It a was a nice piece. The formatting reminded me of lapping waves and I have heard a lot abotu Roatan. A nice memory!


  • Nicolette gold member
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful and it touched me deeply...such a gentle sadness here, yet the acceptance of the loss and the joy of that special moment also rises from your words. Beautiful poetry.

    ~ Nicolette

  • Virgoan
    July 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Magnificently beautiful!

    Thanks so much for sharing this exceptional piece. I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing my friend.

    ~VIRGOAN~


  • Three Doves
    June 30, 2007

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    I'm very troubled for your loss may you find peace in the glory of God. Well expressed and thank you for sharing such a moving moment.


  • Cup-a-Joe
    June 9, 2007

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    Excellent

    The visuals in this is just first class. I am sorry for your loss. I lost my first grandchild in 2005.
    I am glad that you wrote this, as I am sure it brought back wonderful memories.
    Joe


  • Swan song gold member
    June 8, 2007
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    Correction Gold and Silver I though I saw gold up there.

  • Swan song gold member
    June 8, 2007

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    I can see why you won the silver because that is a very excellent poem.It sent some shivers through me because the imagery is so good. Thnak you so much.


  • Carly Pop gold member
    June 3, 2007

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    in tears

    one of the most beautiful expressions of love I have ever read - I wrote a poem An Empty Room - my husband and I never had children- thank you for your most amazing poem - it literally brought tears to my eyes! God bless you and thanks for coming onboard my contest
    Carly Pop (Carla)


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    May 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written, Joanne, of a tender moment in paradise. You come to treasure that preborn time with your child. It is something to celebrate and remember - those moments of bliss. What you describe is real.

    The deep painful sadness of your loss is also real,
    and stays with you your whole life, I imagine.
    Mother's Day must be so difficult. Remember you are a Mother. You nurtured a child in your womb, and loved that child with all your might, and still do.




  • bethan-gaze
    May 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is unbelievable ... beautifully presented but it's the content that mesmerizes and soothes and then jars at the end with your author notes. How sad, yet, at the same time, how startling. It makes 'living for the moment' more poignant than ever. Hold that thought ... hold this poem in your heart. Forever. x


  • February Moon gold member
    May 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful. I love this simple reflection on a perfect moment in life. I am so sorry about your baby, and I applaud you for this spellbinding piece. You wrote this wonderfully, thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest this is entered in.
    Chelsea


  • storiesuntold gold member
    May 17, 2007

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    AWESOME

    I am so sorry to hear about your baby for the poem did reveal a perfect moment . A view from the heavens to hold within your heart and soul until you meet once again under the same blue skies.


    • thelordreigns gold member
      May 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Your beautiful response brought tears to my eyes - what a wonderful hope. Thank you. - jo


  • darkknight marellus
    May 17, 2007

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    Oh....So sad....I personally think I'm too young for kids, but have always planned on having a couple. To be pregnant and then lose the child....How horrible! I can't imagine how Mother's Day affected you this year. I'm so sorry for your loss, but hope that you can remember the good times with your hubby.
    Great poem, great job!

    Akasha


  • S D McDaniel
    May 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    oh man, my spelling is atrocious tonight! I meant peaceful, of course!

  • S D McDaniel
    May 14, 2007

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    inspiring

    this was truly an awe inspiring poem! I could almost see the two of you, maybe sitting on the beach in Roatan, snuggling together, while looking out over the pieceful ocean, and dreaming of the future.

    This poem is full of emotion and rich imagery, and the unusual spacing formation only accentuates it. I am sorry that this perfect moment didn't lead to the hopeful happiness you were expecting it too... it leaves this perfect moment as bittersweet... my heart goes out to you.

    Very, very well written, and good luck in the contest! I think you are going to be very stiff competition!


  • ThresholdofInsomnia
    May 14, 2007

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    The words you used were very powerful, and I really liked the format you used. I think I should start using more creative formats...
    I am sorry for your loss, but I believe that Elaine will be reunited with you in Heaven. The Lord just needed her there for now, that's all. I have an aunt who has lost four babies, two sets of twins, and she has been comforted by the fact that one day she will know them.
    ~Anne

    • thelordreigns gold member
      May 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you dear Anne.

      I know that I know little Elaine is in the arms of our loving God and that one day I will hold her. Losing her was the most painful loss in a life full of losses. But the Lord healed my heartbreak with his loving promise of eternal life.

      Love and hugs - joanne

  • kingjames315
    May 14, 2007
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    Amazing

    Strong poem and strong emotion behind your words. two thumbs up


  • PrincessOfFire
    May 14, 2007

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    Sorry for your loss. The imagry you present the reader with is good, relaxing and promising. We live the life with you. To be truthfull, I'd like to see this described another way >close to my bones< without bones. Bones is a harsh word. Thank you for sharing.
    Rose


  • grass
    May 14, 2007

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    Aw, gosh...this is amazing. What a beautiful picture you painted! I love it. You can practically taste the salt in the air. I suppose there's always bad to offset the good. We've got to stay balanced somehow...

    Your use of imagery is nothing short of stellar, and I (surprisingly enough) enjoyed your line spacing. Each line had it's own seperate train of thought. Usually unusual spacing doesn't work well for people. It drives me up the wall.

    Thank you very, very, very much for entering such a beautiful and heartfelt piece!


  • Love of a Bullet
    May 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think you have captured in these words exactly what it was that you hoped to accomplish. This works out to be quite the compliment given your lofty goal - to describe that one perfect moment. I get the feeling that these events transpired years before. In examining my own life I have many regrets... some of which may mirror your own... but I can't seem to find, within them, your one perfect moment. For what its worth, I'd agree that is entirely sorrowful.

    ~Das

    PS - Check out the Raven contest (20,000 points and cash) coming to Allpoetry this June.


    • thelordreigns gold member
      May 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you Das

      You are correct. This took place in my mid thirties - about 20 years ago.

      I will look into the contest!

      -jo


  • B Chandler
    May 13, 2007
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    Wow this was strong indeed especially coming from personal experience. Keep penning


  • Kari gold member
    May 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderful! I love the format that you've picked with the poem. I've not seen a lot of ppl using formats lately. It was nice to see it again. Great job and I wish you the best of luck in the contest
    Kari

  • oldpoets
    May 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this write did have some detraction. The form could of been a littlebetter. This must of been a very difficult write for you. Losing a child, the pain never goes away. This is still a very good write, you expressed emotion very well.


  • Jizzy Judy
    May 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It is hard to convey a personal moment in a poem and you have made a very brave stab at it.

    I feel the use of multiple typefaces is a distraction.


  • Trueheartforlife
    May 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Great

    This had a lot of wonderful imagery. My favorite part was:

    through out time
    for all eternity
    the same today, yesterday
    and tomorrow

    A perfect moment.

    That ended it just the way the reader would want. Great job and best if luck inyour writing future.


  • arafura gold member
    May 13, 2007
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    A perfect moment...

    The imagery you evoke is nice and the emotions heartfelt. Very good!


  • IndividualEleven
    May 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    nice write, wonder if that is how my mother felt, it seems like a wonderful feeling, hopefully my wife will feel the same oneday, any how like the form too. - Jacen.


  • Hetha gold member
    May 13, 2007

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    A perfectly beautiful poem, that captures such an exquisite moment! I like the overall format and aesthetically speaking, it flowed nicely with the staggered three-line breaks of phrases. Job well done!
    Keep it up!


  • lie
    May 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering even though the rule was set at no religion. Also thank you for choosing a topic that almost everyone can enjoy or relate to. I'm sorry to hear that the rest of the story doesn't have a beautiful ending, but this was an extremely gorgeous poem.
    I really like the adverse structure you used in the piece- between the indentations then the solid format you chose, they coincide well together, and I think they also add a bit of flair or animation to the constructed aesthetics of the piece. Your use of bold and italics really works for the poem, in my opinion. It accentuates all the right things.
    The emotion is highly prominent within the poem- every line just runs with feeling and beauty.
    Your imagery and wording is perfect in every phrase- I'm blown away. Great piece, and thank you so much for entering.


    • thelordreigns gold member
      May 12, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      And I thank you for giving me the opportunity to write about that moment. - jo


  • be a circle
    May 12, 2007

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    oh, it just breaks my heart to know that the rest of this story is so sad. but your poem was beautiful.

1 - 40 of 40