As you gently touch my face
our lips they tenderly meet.
Your hands they do caress me
yet our love is incomplete.
We cannot stay together
for that would be a sin.
We love to meet and be as one
but what will the future bring.
I'm far too young and you are old
we are different cultures too.
Our families say, it could never work,
but I really do love you.
Why should we listen
to what our people say?
Yet as our hearts beat as one
I just know I cannot stay.
Author notes
Is this what you are looking for.
A contest entry
- Tell Me About It.... by Janetheplain.
370 points, ended May 13, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Forbidden Loving by loveaswellashate.
550 points, ended June 15, 2007, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Forbidden Love by Ignis Corpus.
425 points, ended July 17, 2007, 36 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love by Mrs-Gollihue.
600 points, ended August 25, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - forbidden love. by forgot2b3forgotten.
500 points, ended April 19, 2008, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write me Something beautiful by metal freak 13.
600 points, ended May 23, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme and Flow part 5 Love, romance or sensual - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended July 16, 2008, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Thank you for your entry in our contest. An interesting and very sad poem. Your rhyme scheme is very good but we feel that the rhythm and flow let's the poem down.
Please join us in our future contests...Sue and Jeff
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I feel the pain..
...it is so unfair that every person cannot have the love they need or want...or the one that seems just right. Your words are full of torment and emotion. A sad poem.
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That is a difficult situation where the two parties are torn.
I like the way you outline the situation though I am not entirely sure about the flow or the rhymes.
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dee23
thank you very much for your comments -
This is very good!
Good luck in the contest. -
This was different from all of the other poems that have been entered in this contest. I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you for entering my contest.
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doreen H
I appreciate your comments. Thank you -
I'm far too young and you are old
we are different cultures too.
Our families say, it could never work,
but I really do love you.
love those lines i love them good job and good luck in the contes -
doreen H
Thank you for your welcome comments -
I like this one alot.. the rhyming was great.. the beat the message.. awsome.. thanx for joinin and good luck in my contest..
Laters
Loves...*hugs* -
sad...
OH the old story of forbidden love. Anyone can fall in love with anyone no matter the age or culture of a person. But family comes first. Awesome job and good luck, Jane
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