Lipgloss smearing
Soul unhearing
Trembling fingers
Actors singers
So much more than
I could be,
How come
I got
This
Sad body?
Skin imperfect
Legs too fat
Magazine glossy
Reality matte
Features blurring
Through the
Tears
Mirror’s
Laughter
Rings in ears.
How come
if beauty’s
just skin deep,
Each night
I cry myself
to sleep?
Author notes
"Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down."
In a list
A contest entry
- Raven Qualifier - General: Free Verse, Rhyme and Everything Else by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 140 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Feel So Loved by broken-colours.
500 points, ended June 23, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - More than just a pretty face... by aligurl.
625 points, ended February 25, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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Thank you for entering and good luck in my contest. Amazing ending...
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Oh I loved this. A wonderful portrayal of something I think we all have known too well. Who do they think they are? The tabloids... showing the world what woman or men should look like. What the size of their waist or the flare of her hips... The bulge of his muscles, the softness of their hair... Only in a dream world would we all look like that. we were all made different for a reason. We are beautiful in all our own ways. One may have the eyes, another the body but it is what inside that matters most. See yourself as beautiful and that is how others will see you. Tell yourelf your beautiful and take that beauty and point it back to the world. They do not matter. There is someone out there who will love you for all you are worth. Besides, I always love to say "I never trust a girl who has never heard of a good King Size Snicker Bar..."
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Fear Not
The makeup and cameras only lie. I have seen so many up close & they are far from perfect. Besides you have something that they can only rehearse.. Beautiful words
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Nicely done! I love the short lines and the rhyming in this piece, it's very effective. I also like the depth of emotion. Thank you for sharing and entering my contest.
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This was a really interesting piece, it was sad and short with simplistic complexities that made it a great write.
~Dark
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This piece was amazing;
you provided a piece that was relevant and very much relatable to a lot of readers (particularly teenage females). Normally I'm not a huge fan of rhyming in poetry unless it's incredible, and I didn't even notice the rhyme in this until after i'd read it once, because you keep the reader focused on the words and the rhyme just adds to the flow. It doesn't feel forced at all; so great job on that!
Amanda -
This is a nicely written piece, filled with raw emotion and truth. An excellent piece and good luck
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Wow.
Okay, this really reminds me of myself at times. I love it. Very simple and yet that last line was very powerful. <3
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Another very necessary message poem about the damage caused by the media and fashion industry in putting forth plastic and unattainable images. Thanks for sharing this wonderful poem, and best of luck in my contest.
David Michaels
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Very pitiful, yet so very true. Beautifully penned. Thanks very much for entering!
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Wow. What a beautiful way to pen so many teenager's feelings. I think we can all relate to this, at least a little- great rhyming and rhythm. I like the short lines and the choppiness. The whole effect is very honest and real. Good luck in the contest!
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The message from this poem couldn’t be clearer if the author had stood in front of me and that is very commendable in my opinion. Society today almost demands that young women be glossy magazine perfect and many strive to be that way by the use of makeup and dieting. Very often they feel they fall short and the reality is that many readers will relate with this authors words because they do cry themselves to sleep each night. On a personal note I would like to say that “real beauty is far more than skin deep” and it’s about time that negative images were prevented from being promoted to the point of indoctrination to the younger generation. This applies to males too, as they are frequently subjected to similar images of how they should be and I personally believe that it causes so much poor self esteem in the younger members of society.
My instant reaction to the rhyme in this poem is that its good but I think it would be more aesthetically pleasing if the lines were reconstructed.
For example:
So much more than
I could be,
How come I got
This sad body?
I understand that some poets use single lines for words to add emphasis on particular areas but in this case I think it’s unnecessary and does little for the flow, which is already pleasing and rhythmic.
I find poetry that poses a question, be it rhetorical or one aimed at the reader, is very inspiring as it encourages thoughts further than the poems itself. A questioning mind represents to me, one that is willing to explore further and deeper for answers in what ever subject is chosen and therefore shows a lot of potential for the future.
Thank you for entering the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with your entry! Your work may also be viewed by other Raven judges.
Northern Raven
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Wow... Having been here myself, let me just tell you how hard this poem hit me. It made me want to cry, because it brought back so many memories of my own struggles with self-esteem issues. As a former dancer, the stakes were high, and if you were not "magazine beautiful" [as in tall, thin, and blond], then you paid dearly for it, as I did. The fact that my ex dumped me for my anorexic roommate didn't help with that. You have written an amazing piece, my dear... Very well done
Best wishes,
Laura -
beauty is what you make it, like all else.
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Aye, a sad testament to society's ignorant definition of beauty! I do suggest that, if you prefer not to use punctuation, then take the non starting words of each thought to lower case. This will help to direct the flow and breaks better. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e
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Sad and so pointless
I cannot understand anyone feeling so low about themselves. Love comes from within and we need to love ourselves in order to live a balanced and happy life. As well as needing to loveourselves so we can love others.
An excellent write. Well done.
HUGS
Jan -
The magazines have digitally altered pictures and the models used don't even look this good - sad to say some young teens want to emulate these looks and will do anything to reach that perfection - even to the point of becoming sick themselves. Good write, liked the brevity of the lines, the flow and the message you share.
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i really like this. it's a reminder to everyone that beauty is mostly false, especially in the media. it makes people feel they aren't good enough even though in someone's eyes they may be perfect.
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Wow, this is great and so true. It reminded me of these
Rx Bandits lyrics- "she lays awake at night
this ain't the way she wants it
it hurts so bad she cries herself to sleep
she can't have the body of a model
she wants it because she reads it in the magazines"
I love the style and the flow of this poem. Its so true that no matter how beautiful someone is they always find their own flaws, while magazines can edit and make people look perfect but its only a distorted image of reality. Great Job in showing one of the flaws of our society. This is one of many that need to be fixed.
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Aye and society is a horrid example, for they hae a do as i say, not as I do thread of thought. Do not judge extreior looks but look at the focus in the media and in society in general? As a BNB I can tell you that I am what I am and if i make changes it is for me, not because someone said I should for looks, but hat is a very VERY hard polace to reach in life, however, never give up and triving for tha goal, it is more important than fitting in, for if you cannot love yourself, how can another?
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This is truly an emotional and heartbreaking poem; I think every female can relate to it, or also people in general. I think society portrays the ideal person just so they can keep the economy up with all these stupid cosmetic tricks.
I like the rhythm you set so strongly into the poem. The harmonies are wonderfully laced and smooth.
That last stanza is so impacting upon the reader - a truly astounding emotional slap across the face.
I've read many pieces on this topic, and I think this is one of the best so far. You seem to make it more personal and instead of looking down on society, per say, you really grab the reader with how you're feeling.
You didn't lose sight of literacy and word choice either while accomplishing this.
Fabulous poem.
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So a sad representation of society. Too much emphasis put on the outside which will age, whither and fade. Great write. Thank you for entering and good luck.
Jeannie
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This piece truly reflects reality nowadays. The media expects us to be skinny as anorexic supermodels and we feel that we aren't good enough. They don't realize that people come in all different shapes and sizes and are beautiful being different, and they try moulding us into something we're not. Don't let it all get to you. Your writing shows a lot of potential and talent, and that is what matters...what is on the inside. I loved your personification, the subtle metaphors, and your detail that led to imagery. Your flow was flawless. Keep up the great work and thanks for sharing!
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Sad, but very true. I think a lot of girls feel that they aren't pretty enough by the media's standards.
I love it.
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WOW
i love this and it makes SO much sense i know the feeling it seems like this is exactly what the world has come to
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I feel this way myself at the moment, I feel myself becoming obsessed with the world of beauty, hating myself cause I could never be the size 0 even if I wanted to, the world is a nasty superficial place and I have fallen victim to it.
***McFairy*** -
this is really good. I can see the truth and reality of the story it tells. I love how you've used short lines so each word and phrase stands out.
well done. xxx -
wow! this was so ... wicked!! i loved it loved it loved it! and so true.. i luved ur last line..!!! way cool! keep the pen rolling, lots and lots of love and cheers, shuvi
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They're aliens
These cadaverous creatures
On my TV
They tell me I should be
Skinny
As they
WHAT!?!
You want me to look like
That leathery piece
Of alligator...
Well.
If that's your standard of beauty
I think I'll find my own
One that includes
More than taut skin
And showing bone
One with real people
Men and women who live real lives
Women with stretch marks
Who've had 2.5 kids
The man who got burnt
Saving a family of five
I've got news for you
Ms. Teen Queen
Your fake tan makes you look
Like an Oompa Loompa
Can you pass me that can of blue paint?
I'd rather be a Smurf
^_~
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This is amazing, I agree with puppydog. Think of it this way if them celebs and models did not have lypo suction, plastic surgery, touch ups on their pics, they would look no different than the rest of us...Most of what they have is fake or remodled. (sp)?
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This was an excellent piece! It carries a unique structure as well, it has such a profound message within it. I felt sadness and struggle as I read, but some of the truth within the lines were quite reaching! You did an excellent job! So glad I stopped in for a read, this was my pleasure
~Tia
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WONDERFUL EXPRESSION!
The real beauty is not what is visible to our eyes but what we feel with our hearts and souls.
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It is a smashing write. And I love it, It is down right delightful indeed. I thank you so much.
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Excellent - simple yet very powerful! Love the rhymes and this: "Features/Blurring/Through the/Tears/Mirror’s/Laughter/Rings in ears"
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Oh My!!
Wow! This one made me think...
Holy Moly~
Powerful piece You have penned and I imagine there are others who can relate to what You speak
Thank You for sharing these strong emotions!
Best wishes to You in the contest
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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