Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Sanity

There’s something
within my sanity
that makes me itch and cough.

My conscious
makes me flick my hair back,

and halt the leash wrapped
around the neck of my expression.

Other wise, my delusions
might get caught around
your poised ankles,

and plunge you beyond
[in]sanity too.

Author notes

Still working on it. Any suggestions welcome.

I'm not sure where this came from. I've been down lately because I'm having some difficulties (with my love life in particular.) I suppose in a weird way this is aimed at him!!

In a list

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    May 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Complexing

    This is a richly deeply penned poem and it really flows quite well. Lmao though that you are aiming this poem at him and sorry you're going througha rough patch. I liked the poem and really donno what to say that would enchance the poem but keep on writing as this is quite a nice lil poem


  • I will stand by you
    May 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is a good write.


  • xxBleedingPoisonxx
    May 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    its good had a good thing going. finish so i can finish reading lol. over all its good i like your flow.


  • Kari gold member
    May 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think that you've done a cool job here...it's short but it says a lot. I love the background with it. I agree with leander, I wouldn't change anything
    Kari

  • you think im lying
    May 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is good but is only the frame of what could be amazing poem, try to bring in a metaphor that runs throughout, chain around your neck, irony that he bought you it kind of thing.


  • Dalaney gold member
    May 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The first stanza of this
    wonderfully penned poem
    is absolutely brilliant!
    My friend, it doesn't get
    better than this

    Love, Lane


  • leander Moderators member
    May 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm... this looks pretty much finished to me. I surely wouldn't add any lines to this to be honest... Once again - as always - I love the images you brought to my eyes... well done!

1 - 7 of 7