There’s something
within my sanity
that makes me itch and cough.
My conscious
makes me flick my hair back,
and halt the leash wrapped
around the neck of my expression.
Other wise, my delusions
might get caught around
your poised ankles,
and plunge you beyond
[in]sanity too.
Author notes
Still working on it. Any suggestions welcome.
I'm not sure where this came from. I've been down lately because I'm having some difficulties (with my love life in particular.) I suppose in a weird way this is aimed at him!!
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Complexing
This is a richly deeply penned poem and it really flows quite well. Lmao though that you are aiming this poem at him and sorry you're going througha rough patch. I liked the poem and really donno what to say that would enchance the poem but keep on writing as this is quite a nice lil poem
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this is a good write.
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its good had a good thing going. finish so i can finish reading lol. over all its good i like your flow.
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I think that you've done a cool job here...it's short but it says a lot. I love the background with it. I agree with leander, I wouldn't change anything
Kari -
this is good but is only the frame of what could be amazing poem, try to bring in a metaphor that runs throughout, chain around your neck, irony that he bought you it kind of thing.
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The first stanza of this
wonderfully penned poem
is absolutely brilliant!
My friend, it doesn't get
better than this
Love, Lane
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Hmm... this looks pretty much finished to me. I surely wouldn't add any lines to this to be honest... Once again - as always - I love the images you brought to my eyes... well done!
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