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Empty Void

A dark void with morbid patterns echoing;

sonic undertones, electrical static throws.

Dark and cold, like the bottom of the sea,

deep within an eye of bitter loneliness -

never evil (can there be any such thing?).

Tremors run in frightful devastation;

look at me, can't you feel my pain now?

Am I nothing, can you even see me?

I am invisible to you aren't I, like always.

Look at me and pay attention to my tears,

close your eyes and picture me for once.

Please don't devour me with cruel eyes -

just hold me somewhere in your heart I beg.

Don't let go of me, I doubt I will last long.

Though my superior being may infect you,

I am all that I am and I am so much more.

I'm lost now, I'm flying into my own abyss -

darkness, just like you left my swollen heart.

Emptiness, like an empty shell I cease to be.

Author notes

This was kind of personal to me, as many interpretations of pictures and whatnot are... This is heartfelt as I felt like crying after writing it, at the start it was quite impersonal but then after the first stanza I begun to feel myself edge towards my emotions.

Thanks for reading, do give me your opinions as always.
x


---------I think this poem fits because it's about how emptiness doesn't always show and how it's a dark, overbearing feeling that takes over you.---------

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Synthetic-Nightmare
    November 23, 2007

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    O.O

    WOW.......
    i'm.......rather speechless, this is just......really, really good. I LVOE THIS PARAGRAPH:

    "A dark void with morbid patterns echoing;
    sonic undertones, electrical static throw.
    Dark and cold, like the bottom of the sea,
    deep within an eye of bitter loneliness -"

    You've got A LOT OF TALENT! NEVER STOP WRITING!
    oh yeah, and good luck in the contest though it doens't seem like you need much luck


  • PoetrysAngel2041
    July 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked the imagery and metaphors used in this piece. Your flow also seemed nicely done. Great work and good luck

  • Moon Raven
    June 25, 2007

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    I like the imagery in this piece. The use of metaphores helps bring the image you paint to life. This sets a mood of lonelieness and sorrow withub me. Good work on this poem.


  • Trent plus pen
    June 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Good poem, cheers for entering the contest and goodluck!


  • chaostheory89
    June 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for the entry in to my contest i like this poem


  • Bas
    May 18, 2007

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    this is very dark and deep i had t oread it several times t otry to get the meaning of it and i wonder whats on your mind at the time , i don't like to see any body lonely though , lots of darkness and devistation here seems to be to much pain and hurting inside also , i hope that things change for the better and if this person makes you feel this way i hope you can find someone to love you and to help you see the light soon


  • ZorroTheFox silver member
    May 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was another interesting write. I see you've been busy while I was out having fun. keep up the great work.


  • OctoberCrush
    May 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow- so personal...
    But that's what makes it so beautifully written.
    I could defintly tell, throughout the poem, that it held your emotions within it.
    Very nicely written.
    **JERICA***


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    May 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is really creative. I like how the abstract image flows in the beginning, then it seems to take a more personal indepth turn. Throwing you into a spiritual essence of being and yet such mundane woes. I really like the contrast. Great job here :)


  • Hiddenspaces
    May 12, 2007

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    i to could tell this was personal as i was reading it.thatnk you for shareing it and always let your emotions out.i realy like the first four lines of the first stanza.good job and good luck.
    H.


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    May 12, 2007
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    as i read this i could tell this was something of a personal nature, i think your mind needed to get this out, and this was a way. a strong way, before that void you speak of consumes you, i am glad you shared this, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest

1 - 11 of 11