A spectacle, here, among the waves,
Through a misty morning's haze,
Upon the red-hued crested fold,
Of a most wide and worthy lake.
Unseen, the far-off shores must take
From trees that overhang their bank,
Rainbow-like treasures from the limb
That hover by the shadowed rim.
They seem for all the world to take
As like a lover to the lake.
These waters are my greatest pleasure,
Or the fish within them, rather,
Or the evening pleasantly passed
With a rod in hand and the past
Reliving in the interlude,
The solace birthed of solitude.
The winds are gentle, the heavens calm.
Scent of earth, a healing balm,
To ease the heart, cleanse the soul.
A contest entry
- Your happy place. by samantha jean.
800 points, ended July 21, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Thank you for your lovely entry, Josephine
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Everybody is doing water poetry lately. And you do it well. I don't think you should say things so outright though...make them think.
Surging liquid lake
Singing sanguine shore
Something along those lines.
Instead of "the waters" ect.
Good job though
I really like this
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Beautiful poem, very sensory prominent, excellent imagery as well. I can close my eyes and see as you narrate as well as i can feel the mood and winds... Very good, looking forward to more
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Thank you for subjecting yourself to my review. You have hit a soft spot with me. I have always had a love affair with the sea. I like the meter of this poem and you have painted very nice images with your words. The first two lines of the second stanza seem a little forced when it comes to the rhyme.
These waters are my greatest pleasure,
Or the fish within them, rather,
They seem to be a little awkward. Not sure what could be done with them.
Possibly:
These waters are my greatest treasure
The time spent fishing that I treasure
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