Should such a thought ever cross your mind
A politic distance I kept from you
Now you drift apart
But once it was he who filled your life
You must know after all these years
What has changed your mind –
Stars or storms or a false beam
In your molten eyes.
Is it too soon or too late we choose to decide?
The sweetness of it all was
None of you were wise
Nor were you of divided minds
You drowned yourselves in a flush flood
Worldly wise I stood on the shore
To keep myself dry
Now you weep for your headlong plunge
I for my wisdom cry.
A contest entry
- Are you scared of falling in love again? by Clinging-to-Life.
300 points, ended May 17, 2007, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pain from a lover betrayel by Palaz1wp.
800 points, ended October 7, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For the broken hearts out there by CutsThatDontBleed.
900 points, ended October 17, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CALLING OUT KINGS AND QUEENS OF POETRY !!! CHALLENGE FOR YOU SHOW US YOUR AMAZING WORK !! by the charmed one.
610 points, ended November 12, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Silver PW by crivanea.
400 points, ends November 30, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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oh ok lol sorry in that case it fits perfect with this contest thank you for entering
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good poem but i think is bit confusing . i dont know what the poem is about . thanks for entering
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the charmed one
It's very simple. Two guys fell in love with you. One was very shy whom you ignored and you opted for the other. After sometime you drifted apart for whatever be the reason. Now imagine your situation and that of the guy you rejected. I hope now your confusion has been cleared.
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im a little confused, but its very well written. id like to know exactly what your trying to say though. very good and thank you for the entry
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This is beautiful, yet almost sad. I had a hard time with this line "you drowned yourselves in a flush flood" could you have meant flash flood perhaps? Other than that, this is a brilliant piece full of enlightened understanding. I really enjoyed reading it!
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Dragonbabyx3
Thanks for your comment. It is 'flush' and not 'flash' flood. You may verify from OED.
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iu really really like it
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I like this poem thank you for entering
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i really dont understand what your trying to get across here. dont get me wrong this is a well written poem. i just dont so much feel the love inside of it
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Unsure
Not certain of what you're trying to say here. Not very clear. Again that's the idea of a poem. Good write! -
wow.. this is really good.. really well written.. great rhyme.. awesomely written.... great flow.. everythings great
Thanks for entering.. and best of luck in my contest!
~~Lemon Bee~~ -
Positive: wow great flow and great work overall on this piece iv never read a poem that flowed that easly off the tongue. bravo also great wording what really caught my eyes was "Stars or storms or a false beam
In your molten eyes." great work
Negative: nothing
thank for entering -
Beautiful... It's very strong. Thanks for entering.
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Great entry
I like this short poem, I really like the part:
Is it too soon or too late we choose to decide?
Sometimes we decide wrong....Good job, thanks for entering and good luck! -
You took me into the land of deep curiousity and made me a part of the your ssentiments ..love it..thanks for such a wonderful entry...
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This poem seems really individual. Good job.
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Please put the option you have chosen in your N/A, message me when it is done and I will then comment your poem.
Thank you.
Rebecca
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xBeCx
The last option - a gone love wrong.
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I found this poem a slight bit confusing, maybe because the flow was a little off?
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very interesting and good write. Thanks for sharing
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Wow, I love the way this is written. Great job and thanks for entering!
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congrats on the silver. This sure has been entered in a lot of contests! Nice job telling a story. Thank you for entering.
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Piccola
This is not only a poem but also a part of my life. Thanks for your appreciation.
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i really liked this one! great job!thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox
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Just a quick comment to say thanks for entering this into my contest, sorry you didnt win but obviously there can only be three trophies given, which is a shame cause in this contest there deserved to be alot more winners! xxx
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I can relate to this well. Thanks for entering! x
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This is a great poem. I really enjoyed reading it. Good luck.
Erica ^.^
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Great piece but unfortunately you are the 34th person to enter a prewrite so I have to remove you because I am only allowing 25 prewrites on a first come first serve basis.
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Alright, now I have a bettter understanding of this write. At first I didn't see the beauty that was in it, that happens when I read sometimes. Please excuse me for having to come back to it.
Best wishes to you in all these contests, and mine as well,
jin -
Original and sound. I love it.
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This was a nice poem. A lot of emotion in this piece. It read well, also you portrayed your thoughts very well.
All and all a very good entry to my contest. Good job on winning a gold for this piece.
Thank you so much for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck.
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Very nicely written completely with sound devices.
s and best wishes... ~Genie~
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this is wonderful but not as dark as i would like. good luck anyway.
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Sad, but beautiful.
Thank you, for the entry.x.
Mwah.
Lullaby.x.
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This was so sad. I had to read it a couple times to get the meaning of it. You write very deep poetry. Even still I took several meanings from it. I like poetry like that--subjective and deep. Very nice write. Thank you for sending it to me!
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This is great....I LOVE THE LINES:
"You drowned yourselves in a flush flood
Worldly wise I stood on the shore
To keep myself dry
Now you weep for your headlong plunge
I for my wisdom cry."
This was a very sad peice. I can feel the regret just pouring out from the last few lines....the whole peice ties its self together so well. Great job.
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1 - 36 of 36
