Lips trail across my skin
As I let you in again
I can't believe it's come to this
You're my drug, my love, my fix
Razors cut into my breast
You'll lick the blood flow on my chest
I'll taste the copper on your lips
Because you're my drug, my love, my fix
I need a fix
(don't keep me waiting)
I need your love
(Anticipating)
Every kiss
(and every touch)
Who'd know that I'd need
(need it this much)
Thrust in again hearing me moan
Animalistic sounds, grunt and groan
Now I know why it's come to this
Cuz you're my drug, my love, my fix
Hearing my voice as I scream out loud
Feeling you push in and pound and pound
Hearing the pleasure from my lips
Giving into my drug, my love, my fix
I need a fix
(don't keep me waiting)
I need your love
(Anticipating)
Every kiss
(and every touch)
Who'd know that I'd need
(need it this much)
So give me my pain and give me my pleasure
A fix that I love without any measure
Feeling the orgasm bursting inside
Ripping within me from this drug I can't hide
Author notes
My first erotica.. OMG... I can't believe I wrote this...
Options 1 and 4
A contest entry
- Wicked Games and Lithium Dreams [18+] by Immortal Obscurity.
900 points, ended October 19, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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this is really only your first erotica
wow this sounds liek you've done it before
great write -
What? Only your first erotica? WOW! Reading this, I really felt like I was reading a seasoned veteran's work! You are the only one who has REALLY, and I mean REALLY, done the story, and the characters, justice. It was very eloquently written, and I am VERY impressed with the quality of this entry.
The only thing that I would like for you to change is the 'cuz' at the end of stanza 2. That's the only thing that snapped me out of my trance as I read. Oh, and option # in authors' notes, please. Well done, and best of luck!
300 points will follow at the end of the contest, when I know who you are [please don't tell me before then].
Best wishes,
L.
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WOAH!
For your first erotica piece this is damn goood!! Got me all hot and bothered now. lol.
Nice work indeed!
xxxx
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i need a booty call..lol -
wow
hey this is really good it had me reading until the end.
love it.
well keep writing.
missey aka pretty punk angel aka skittles
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wait wait wait your FIRST EROTICA!?!!!!! EVER?!!!! oh dear Ms. Megan you've been talking to me and this is your FIRST erotica?!! oh how I love you.
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Yeah yeah cuz I'm so innocent right?
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I LOVED IT!!!!!
Like everyone has said for your first try it is very erotic...I love the part where you said:
Lips trail across my skin
As I let you in again
I can't believe it's come to this
You're my drug, my love, my fix
The title goes very well with the poem, and you also got it to rhyme, so that is a plus.......BEAUTIFULL!!!
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Holly shit this is great sexy beyond belief you are a natural at this stuff
(and i think i need a shower a really cold one )
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Pretty damn good write for your first try at erotica. Not to mention you ryhmed it...I can't even do that, so you got one up on me...lol I think this is excellent.
**Master Ktulu**
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thank you. Like I've said i have no idea where this came from. Guess something finally snapped inside for me..
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This is a wonderful poem here for your first time doing something erotic, it kept my attention from begining to end. Keep writing, keep it flowing and lets see what else you have in that erotic mind of yours.
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Thank you Rose. Who knows what I'll write next.. Depending on my assignment in truth or dare...
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~Many Scarlet Applauses and Kisses~
Very very well done! Bravo!
How exciting and tantalizing!
Sweet, soft and intense.
I loved the flow the imagery, the rythm.
It felt as the two were making love
and at the same time, adding their
animalistic side!
"Razors cut into my breast
You'll lick the blood flow on my chest
I'll taste the copper on your lips
Cuz you're my drug, my love, my fix"
Freaken awesome!
Lady Blue~
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Very good poem (despite the fact that it was your first try)
"Razors cut into my breast
You'll lick the blood flow on my chest
I'll taste the copper on your lips
Cuz you're my drug, my love, my fix"
This was the one stanza that stood out for me - the eroticism in the line "I'll taste the copper on your lips" was beautiful
Well done on your first try - this has shown that you ARE capable of doing it
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wow, this is something i mean as i read this whoa, blew my mind away, you have some mind there, i like this poem, keep it flowing
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for a first it's a damn good piece...lol well done and there is nothing wrong with this sort of a drug addiction... we all need that kind of fix sometimes...
cheers
jen
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OMG I scared myself. I don't know where this even came from.. prolly pent up frustration.. lol
~Kitten~
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-strokes softly reads again-
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