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Cold Heart

~*~

this heart felt so cold
winter lived within chambers
frozen doors, so tightly closed
~*~
through a blanket white
a heart dreams for springtime sun
warmly she will awaken
~*~

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Sandal
    June 13, 2007

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    Clearly this is not about the seasons, but a metaphor for a harsh experience. There are four lines of chilling cold, and then hope comes with spring sun. Waking in the warmth to see life renewed is a beautiful wish. The title "Cold Heart" makes me wonder, how many who seem cold wish like this?
    I don't know the sedoka form, it seems interesting. Very nicely done.


    • DawnBaby
      June 13, 2007
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      Thank you

      To see the different types of poetry go to www.shadowpoetry.com click on resourses and types of poetry. You will find an explaination for this type of poetry. It is sort of verses that connect yet are opposite. I am a big fan of Japanese poetry, I write a lot of haiku, senyru, tanka etc. I am on vacation as of this weekend Sandal, if you have questions please ask another group member they will be happy to assist you.


  • Malabu
    June 5, 2007

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    although you have beauty

    and the form is perfect...I feel cause and affect are expessed here.....these are by no means easy....you make it look so though.....
    within chambers heart winter lives
    tightly closed, are frozen doors

    through a blanket white
    a heart dreams for springtime sun
    warmly she will awaken

    Hope that helps....thanks so much for honoring me with this beautiful writing...
    Mal


  • Samplette gold member
    May 21, 2007

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    Now this is one of my favorites thus far. Wonderfully done. A perfect sedoka in my eyes. I wish you the best in the contest.
    Sam

    • DawnBaby
      May 21, 2007
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      Thank you Sam!

      What an honor to have you compliment my work! You are one of AP's best! Thank you so much, I so appreciate your kind comments.


  • bethan-gaze
    May 17, 2007

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    This is really good ... the picture is beautiful and I can't quite decide which stanza I prefer - both are excellent. Clever you! x


    • DawnBaby
      May 17, 2007
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      Thank you!

      I very much appreciate your kind comments, I am so glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for the applause!


  • debilynn gold member
    May 11, 2007

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    a beautiful poem from a beautiful poet! you did great on this. thank you for sharing it. keep writing! God bless you always

    • DawnBaby
      May 11, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you kind lady!

      How are you doing? Hope you are feeling better each day So appreciate your kind comment and applause. God Bless you as well!

1 - 9 of 9