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Emotions from Old

I sometimes deep inside me

have ideas of mysterious revelry

amidst old stories describing pagan life.

Some most welcomed by me.


My Russian background seems

to unconsciously take me back

centuries through history.

Especially in dreams.


I often feel very very old myself going

back in time instinctually and intuitively.

These inner experiences offer me a substantial

number of thoughts and concepts about life

and time and God and Heaven.


Very mixed ideas. I enjoy them all. They

enrich my soul. I enjoy the thoughts I encounter.

They have added to my life, my poetry, my art.


Some people see times long past in my eyes.


I'm certain my favorite color red comes from

an ancient realm. I can't live without red.

It fills my home and my paintings. Deep red,

bright blood red. Some people find it harsh.


I find it warm and passionate.

I can't imagine my world without it.

An important part of my Russian being, red.


My mind loves traveling through this colorful past.

Author notes

vivela

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 28 of 28

  • Vintage Chiffon
    July 15
    Edit | Reply
    You did exactly what I asked not of. Thanks for entering


  • V.Violet
    March 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the connection between the background and the poem. It's blantant and subtle at the same time. The poem itself is oddly descriptive then not, leaving some questions.

    Good luck.


  • Blooming Poet
    March 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is good and I love the dexriptions of your background relating to red and all the shades of it. The background also adds to it.

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    February 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think that this is a great piece that you have done here thank you for taking the time to enter this contest have a great day be well


  • ScottishPrincess silver member
    January 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is fascinating and interesting,Great


  • PerfectImperfection
    January 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very interesting piece of thought composed. A musing of memory and past. Thank you for your entry & Best wihses in the contest!

  • Nighttime angel
    January 12, 2008

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    this is a nice dedication to your heritage. this a great poem and you did an excellent job.

    good luck in the contest.

    kat


  • Devils Reject
    September 4, 2007
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    i like the use of red in this piece. great write


  • badddgirl
    July 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Great write my friend!

    This is very good indeed!


    My Russian background seems

    to unconsciously take me back

    centuries through history.

    Especially in dreams.


  • Thrilla N9nna 503
    July 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this had such wonderful wonderful imagery and it was very deep. i love it =] keep on writing because you are indeed good at it, and by the way the opening to this was really strong!


  • Rain86
    July 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely written. Your depth and imagery really caught my eye with this one. You have captivated your reader and definitely have a way with words to keep them trapped. Nicely done


  • storiesuntold gold member
    July 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    So awesome this write

    Yes I know the feeling for myself it is cool blue and yellow together like the sky and the colors of the wild sunflowers that surrounded me as a child .


  • agalford7053
    June 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Its nice to read poems like these. Ones that make you think, now only about the writer but about yourself. I wonder what color I'm connected with? I guess I'd say green, a bright green thta is. I love the color red as well. It is a very vibrant color and I loved how you used that in your poem. It was a great idea.
    Great job!
    Ashley

  • Unowhatthesis4
    May 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for this poem, I enjoyed it, especially the part where you build up a connection between yourself and the color red. In a strange way I know exactly what you mean. I too have certain connections with colors, and I like writing poems that express the relationship.

    I see that others have offered suggestions for how to improve things -- my one thought is that the word choice can be a little drawn out at times. For example, phrases like "mysterious revelry" are hard for the reader to get through.

    But in general I really enjoyed this poem -- it flows well from start to finish and it's obvious that you put a lot of your energy and heart into it. Thanks


  • Florida Sunshine
    May 27, 2007
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    Wow ~ you did a fantastic job!!! Good luck on the contest!


  • esroddo silver member
    May 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Definitely a winner

    Well expressed with such detail. One should always be proud of who we are. I have some Russian blood in me. I did a family Tree. Its amazing what one can fine out. Thank you for sharing. (Lisa)

    "I often feel very very old myself going

    back in time instinctually and intuitively.

    These inner experiences offer me a substantial

    number of thoughts and concepts about life

    and time and God and Heaven."


  • ibsons hysops
    May 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    With all These Entries, You are bound to win at least a few Gold Trophies! I love the entirety of such awsomed thoughts and well put expressions, and your alliteration seems like an effortless flow from the heart and soul!!!!


  • neurosine gold member
    May 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Your DNA is old and wise. Your intellect is very naive. Not to say it will not lead you your to more ancient wisdom. Seek. Seek. Seek.


  • saartha
    May 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This one definitely has a great deal of potential, but there's still a few issues I'd like to see fixed.

    Stanza 1: The last line feels awkward. I'd like to hear why some of the ideas are welcome, and some are not. It's not adequately explained.

    Stanza 2: Rather than just stating that you are Russian, it would be better to allow the reader to infer through descriptions. Also, why is this especially true in dreams? Give me a peek into your mind when you're dreaming.

    Stanza 3: Good first two lines. Lines 3-5 feel very stilted and uncomfortable, like you're not totally okay with addressing the reader about this. Also, those lines don't really have any emotion in them. They're a bit boring.

    Stanza 4: Why are they mixed? Why do you enjoy them, how do they enrich your soul? 'I enjoy the thought I encounter' is unnecessary repetition and should probably be removed. How did they add to your life etc? Describe, don't tell.

    Stanza 5: This line...eh. It doesn't feel important. Describe to me why you care if they see the past, how you are able to let them see it.

    Stanza 6: Why would red signify an ancient realm? You could possibly relate this to dyes in old textiles, or glazes on pottery from civilizations past. Give me some image to connect this to.

    Stanza 6: Again, don't just say you're Russian. This section will be more complete after you edit the previous stanzas.

    Stanza seven: As far as last lines go, this one is pretty anti-climactic. I'm not going away with a lingering emotion or idea. This has got to be stronger.

    Good luck with the rewrite

  • luvdrkchocolate
    May 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my! This is quite a poem that you have here. I did find the background hurts my eyes when I try to read this but I guess that this color means a whole lot to you after I read your poem. You certainly did a good job in expressing what you feel in your soul and what makes you the person that you are.


  • honey bear
    May 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    thank you for entering and good luck in the contest with this exelent write, i myself find the colour red sometimes rather harsh and yet in the right place it has a wonderful beauty


  • Dark.Dreamer
    May 13, 2007
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    wonderful!great write!


  • light insight silver member
    May 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Creative

    Wonderful of using red to create imagery of Russia and leave the reader to wonder if this is good or bad. Red is a color that can be interpreted many ways and you created cause for thought. Great job! Rhon


  • Lady-Pegasus
    May 12, 2007

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    Thank you for your contest submission, I do need to ask you review the rules and edit your submission appropriately. Please reply IN COMMENTS to me and let me know this has been done, thank you.
    I did enjoy this piece and especailly the beginning parts about past life dreams; although the background, while fitting, did make it hard to read. I am not sure what this has to do with the picture, and there are a few spelling errors as well. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *


  • Swan song gold member
    May 11, 2007
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    A very nice write indeed. Red and Russian they do go together. I enjoyed this poem.


  • meoncloud9
    May 11, 2007

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    Very well done. I liked the way you've described the colour red.
    This part is lovely,

    'I find it warm and passionate.

    I can't imagine my world without it.

    An important part of my Russian being, red.'

    The theme of the contest is nicely brought about in this poem..
    Best Of luck in my contest!!


  • capricornpoet
    May 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    of past

    As you are, this pensive poetess as always, words that go far into depths that mix life and its continuum;I
    enjoyed the feel of this voyage past and present and its images , it moved like its own universe..

  • Mercury Rising
    May 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Fascinating

    Very strange and fascinating indeed. My grandmother from the Ukraine was rather psychic, so I can relate to your strange time-travelling and love of red.
    Best of luck in the contest.

    David Michaels

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