I have stared at you all week,
you do not need those clothes with me.
An empty promise,
is all they are,
almost as empty as me
desiring you.
You upset me
and test me,
but then,
you know who you are,
I am only guessing
since
for such a child
you are very complicated,
when all I want
is to touch you,
when you trust me.
Author notes
Written July 27th, 2003
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Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Lute, the colors you chose for font against background on this one hurt my eyes...I thought I would read some of your older writes...your newer stuff has progressed considerably...so good I want to possess it.
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this fantastic i have read loads of red poetry none i have read can compare to this it is just amazing
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I love this, so simple in its manner... trust... so many guys have said these same words to me just differently... I can relate
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ooo delicious!!
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sweeeeet !!!!!
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Tingly!
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=]
i loved it. awesome write, i like your tone. keep up the great work, and keep on writing! -
Excellant/Sensuous
Ay, very well done. Yes, just a touch of the erotic. -
I like this because it was totally in depth with what you wanted to do. Great work. Keep it up.
~Sam -
wow i like this...kinda. well done
~mandy~ -
oh el diablo has obviously not encountered the flat out eroticism of being ensnared in pure sexual tension....poor thing..whopper opening lines....lisa likes..
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I do not find this to be erotic, I find it to be straight-forward and a bit sensual but not erotic. Again, another poem I feel that isn't erotica but put in an adult category.
My opinion, but, sensuality and eroticism are two differen things.
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And maybe Urwin always begins with And. Because she can.
Of course the Worm was always going to adore this. So I heap praise. If you want me to. -
Sneaky little buggar aren't you? Need, desire, and kinda dirty, yea, I like it. Big surprise there.
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understated, seductive, classy, yearning, aching, I love it. I see where this could make someone melt.. yes i can.
~ becky
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HOT
This was a hottie write Lute~ Very HOT~ Hmmmmm~ Time for a morning snack now~ This was sensual my dear~ Keep them cumming~ Big hugs and much love~ Desire -
A very nice write. I liked the way you had the one who desired her to be patient in taking her innocence.
Great Write.
Sam
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"almost as empty as me
desiring you"
That was the tone of the piece, an empty sensual emotion we know we can't grasp, know we can't touch, but feel so deeply anyway.
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aaaahhhhhohhhhhh
*Grinning* Just needed to quench my naughty palette, I guess my soiled angel side likes this one a whole lot. In the words of Stewy, "Oh yeah I went there."
Keep Feeling Fascination,
Tiffany -
Hmmm... i'm not sure if i should say this... but i also got the feeling that the person being desired was very innocent, a virgin or youthful...
I really like the opening "you do not need those clothes with me." ... an invitation to bare all, allow oneself to be vulnerable... nicely done.
oh... and "when you trust me" kicks butt...
Great poem,
~ Wendy -
It\'s gettin hot in herrre
This put a lump in my throat, I need a glass of water. Ahhh much better! Your words got my physical, that's a great thing.
Keep Feelin' Fascination,
~Tiffany~ -
edgy....
there is a feel to your work I am getting addicted too.. and I'm not ready to describe it yet... -
im not sure about this one.
i will reserve judgement on it, and read some others of yours before coming back to this.
Lisa x -
...the total abandonment to trust and passion.
Well written.
Thank you,
Maria
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...."all I want is to touch you, when you trust me." That line says SO much. The candence of the poem was well metered. But, without that final line, it has no backbone to it really. Very well done. ~~~Val
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Very seductive write that is short but extremely well written. Nice work. Irene
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You upset me
And test me
And people who know where to use "and"
In the exactly right place
Impress me.
A lot of people wont use it, and I can never see why not. Some people are so concerned with using only low frequency words to give the impression that they are educated and "deep" - but people who cannot write this simply, and this raw shouldn't write at all.
This poem reminded me of virginity a lot, I knew who I was and he didn't. And now he knows, but how can I.
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