I could forever watch you
Standing there,
with nothing at all to say.
I've known you a long time,
close to my heart,
through every little sway.
I ate next to you
When i was younger,
and sung to you all my songs.
You've always been there for me,
For anything to come between us,
would be horribly wrong.
The sight of you makes me smile,
All that's inside of you
Is sugary and sweet
You are the source
Of all my comfort,
I'm lucky we did meet
The way you move is calming,
you've always stood
So tall and free.
I hope to never part with you,
My beatiful friend,
and loving... maple tree.
Author notes
Option 1
I liked writing this and hope it doesn't come out corny.
A contest entry
- PROVE YOU'RE WORTHY OF MY POINTS by EmeraldDaze.
480 points, ended June 5, 2007, 60 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Sadly enough, Corny.
while the deep inner meaning is completely understood and effectively expressed, the way you go about "proving your point" for lack of a better term, comes out in a cheesy corny way. you kept up the rhyme...the structure fluctuating a little bit. it would have been best if you kept the second line of the stanza short like in the first two stanzas. it throws off the pentameter when you do that. however, the diction is wonderful and the rhymes are cute. i love this poem.
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Aww,this is beautiful.WOnderful job.
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I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem~ Keep up the good work~ Good luck to you in the contest!
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Wow, the ending was very surprising. I like this poem, its very clever. I hope you and your tree are never parted. Thank you for entering my contest.
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