All the children lined up one by one
bright shining smiles, clean clothes
perfect picture, perfect pose
A deeper look may show different
the outside a mere pretense
a false front that misrepresents
Children go off to school
but what does dad do?
Children want to play
but what does mom say?
A perfect family album
now cracked and frayed
pictures that recount happier days
Family portraits
blissful times
hiding all the family lies
Dad drinks his life away
but what can children say?
Mom just says naught
but what are these children taught?
All the children lined up one by one
bright shining smiles, clean clothes
perfect picture, perfect pose
Author notes
option 1
A contest entry
- **OPTIONS, OPTIONS, EVERYWHERE** by By A New Name.
750 points, ended May 25, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This is a very good poem, as everyone has said. I like the repetition of the first verse at the end. It creates a sympathy in me for the poor children. My only comment would be
Mom just says naught
There is a double space between "Mum" and "naught." However, that doesn't affect the way the poem runs at all, I just thought I'd point it out I know that sort of thing is easy to miss.
Thanks again for entering.
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a beautiful poem on a sad subject. keep up the good work.
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This poem is very well written, it does say what alot of children lived and live. It's very good, welldone.
Emily x -
this poem is amazing!!! it reminds me of my own family sooo much...on the outside and in pictures you may actually believe we love each other...funny. awesome write!
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Hi! Thanks for your entry & I'll comment properly when the contest is over.
Hannah x -
I lived this to a certain extent growing up, so I appreciate a poem about such happenings.
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It is true that all families have their secrets and you did very well to describe it. The first transitition between the first set and the second is kind of quick. Still ver good and I like how you made the first and last set the same.
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this is well written. I know families like this and it's amazing what a friend can do to help the family.
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Awesome. I've often had these same thoughts looking at family portraits. Sometimes you have to wonder what's behind the fake smiles.
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a nice reflection on a family album. i've thought about pictures too, and how they may mislead us. we only get a scene, but we lack the knowledge of what the person/people in the pictures feel and think at the time the camera went "click!".
i'm not sure about the line, "mom just does naught." naught means insignificant, but i guess you mean that mom does nothing? i liked the next line: i also wonder what children (and everyone else) are taught, and what they resist. it's hard to look at pictures with all of these thoughts going in your mind! it makes you doubtful and want to avoid pictures, no matter how sentimental they might be or how they might affect you emotionally.
keep writing!
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