I stood on the edge of a cliff
Ready to jump
Ready to end my life
Ready, oh so ready
I took a deep breath
And put one foot over the edge
Another breath
One leap and it was over
“Don’t!” came a voice from behind
I turned to see a friend
There to help me
I looked behind, I looked in front
The choice was right there
The roaring waves called from below
A friend called from above
And so I stand there
Eternally broken
Between life and death
Author notes
I chose option # 8
A contest entry
- 8 options of madness by McFairy.
2000 points, ended June 2, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hm, I feel you could have gone a bit deeper with this one. It's lacking the depth for me that one would have within their soul when contemplating suicide. Well, except for the last two lines... I am by no means trying to insult your piece. It's just my opinion. On a similar note, you created a scene, a good one, and then just left the reader hanging a bit there at the end. All in all, it is good, but could be more. Thank you for entering and best of luck.
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