Hope (part one)
Shifting, drifting, falling though her life
A flying fish
She swims as if she doesn't notice
The bowing love around her
Dreaming that she will never drift into demise
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Fear (part two)
Snarling, scraping, biting down on life
A ravenous dog
He salivates over the broken limbs
Of the enemies surrounding him
Believing he will crawl away from demise
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Desperation (part three)
Crying, begging, groveling outside of life
A little giant
He whispers into the ears and hearts
Of the blank stares around him
Beseeching that he will find his way to demise
A contest entry
- Ready, Set, GO! - Round 1 - "Part Poetry" -Open to everyone! by AureateCorona.
500 points, ended July 27, 2007, 37 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Nice structure and part relation. You kept it smooth and together it flowed naturally. Each one of those lives sound undesirable as you described them but I guess that was the point ,good luck in the contest.
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very nice! the parallel structure is kept to a T and connects each part very nicely.
"He whispers into the ears and hearts
Of the blank stares around him"
stunning image you've presented here.
very solid and great peice. good luck in the contest
-AC-
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