There's a place I hold sacred
I've saved deep in my heart
A gentle sloping meadow
and keeper of my dreams
cradled on a mountain top
high above the redwood trees
I long to share with someone special
someone just like you
A place of nature where spirits run free
where heaven our souls can touch
we can look into our infinite destiny
with a moon lit view of forever
feel the cool breeze the angel's sing
as they scroll our love across the sky
painted with the golden feathered tips
of an angel's wing with stars for you and I
Here Kisses mean nothing regardless of how long they last
if the duration and meaning that lead to them is shallow
Romantic dreams of worldly lovers are often lost with changing times.
It's hard for me to look at you and not think of heaven.
You're an angel in my eyes and dreams made in heaven are never lost
Come with me and dance in the moonlight on heavens mountain meadow
where our hearts can meld with a single kiss of our souls
and lovers dreams on this mountain top are never forgot,
not for angels as special as you, with wings.
Author notes
option 3 and big brother or father or cousin
In a list
A contest entry
- ♥♥ hopeless romantics ♥♥ (guys only please) by Shantalina.
700 points, ended May 28, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1000 POINTS or a smack in the head with a dead trout. by dp robertson.
1710 points, ended June 3, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Best Of The Rest by CapturedMoon.
700 points, ended May 25, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Need an AP Family and I have 3 great OPTIONS 4 U!!!!!!! by Desiree-Valdez.
1150 points, ended May 23, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GO for the Gold~ 2nd Chance ~ Sorry Closing earlier then planned~ by Florida Sunshine.
800 points, ended May 30, 2007, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥ Where Do Broken Hearts Go? ♥ by Under Construction.
525 points, ended July 26, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For all of my past contest-winners... by WhollySurrendered.
475 points, ended August 5, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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A very beautiful and touching poem you have here.Your words have true meaning and thats romantic.Great penning on this write.Thanks for sharing.
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Upon the mountain tops love does bloom...The angles wings send there sweet perfume to caress the gentle hearts upon this mountain top...Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful heart
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Wow~ thank you for entering this in my contest! I do love this poem~ I want to go~ I just saw I just commented earlier~ how ironic! Again thanks for entering.
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thank you
your comments are appreciated very much. it is ironic lol you commented I entered you commented I commented all without knowing one did the other. Maybe it's a sign ...ooooooooooo. lol Thank you,
best regards
David
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaah~ I love this poem~ You've swept me away!!!
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There we go looking at the same thing and one of us is in Hell.
feel the cool breeze the angel's sing as they scroll our love across the sky
painted with the golden feathered tips of an angel's wing with stars for you and I
I am sure people would have told you just how beautiful and moving this piece is. Well it was certainly moving as I have just come back from the toilet. Now honestly, could you stuff anymore clichés into this? Every line just gurgles with this shit to a point where one wants to throw themselves off the top of that mountain not to read another one of these. Your words expressed your way is what will make you a unique writer. This regurgitated spew will make you like every other who is writing the same regurgitated spew in praise, in love, etc. Find your own words!!! Sweet as it is, it is nonetheless crap.
David
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Thanks for your comments
I'm not an expert on literature so it may be full of cliches but for me these were my own words if they happen to be words said before then that's my bad and that tells me where I stand as a writer, but it's too bad when I write from my heart and express it my way and I'm told it is "regurgetated spew" and "find your own words". Maybe I should read the library to make sure the words I have chosen haven't already been written before but I certainly did not look up words first then add them to my write. You said the critques would be hard and I appreciate that, perhaps you can give this amatuer something to help improve his writing rather than telling me what has and has not come from my heart. Again thanks for your comments
Best regards,
David
well, after a bit of thought and a little advice from your collegue I can see your view a little better and I understand how boring this write was for you to read. I have a better idea what I can do to improve my writing. I'm enjoy writing just not so good at it but I will learn to make what I write at least a little less likely to start a bowel movement in those of you who are good writers. I do appreciate your candor and have learned from your comments thank you.
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Lord knows you aint getting laid much.
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wings, stars, angels, candy canes, lollipops and love on a mountain top.
save me -
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well Perry Neil Plummer...
I understand now what you need to be saved from, Love on a Mountain top. LOL I enjoy writing but not so good at it, but I at least have some idea what will improve what I do write. I am open to any advice you may have to offer. Thank you -
save you from what
lol thank you for your comment but save you from what?
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Im not sure if your author notes pertained to this contest I put as a rule I will not accept any bashing of poems!!! I found it soothing and beautiful and my favorite part is
Come with me and dance in the moonlight on heavens mountain meadow
great job and thanks for the entry. you didnt state what part of my AP family you would like to be. -
A place of nature where spirits run free
and heaven we can touch
we can look into our infinite destiny
with a moon lit view of forever
wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
lovelyyy
romantic,great choice of words,really touchy,gentle,romantic,sweet,in short a really great write,
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Beautiful Poem
I love its symmetry, it is built like the way it is conceived; images appropriate to the atmosphere.
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This is a wonderful poem..it's very poetic. I enjoyed reading this very much and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Kari -
This is truly a beautiful poem. Love, nature and heaven all written in one magnificent piece. We all have our special spot on earth and it sounds like yours is beauty beyond belief to inspire such a lovely poem. I especially liked the line, "with a moonlit view of forever." Good luck in the contest. Your friend in Poetry, Mysty Rain
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Wow And Double Wow
Your write is breathe taking. Your words paint a picture of eternal bliss. And yes its like you were describing heaven. Your words brought a peace to my heart wishing I was there sharing this magical place on the mountain tops.(Lisa)
"It's hard for me to look at you and not think of heaven.
You're an angel in my eyes and dreams made in heaven are never lost
Come with me and dance in the moonlight on heavens mountain meadow
where our hearts can meld with a single kiss of our souls
and lovers dreams on mountain tops are never forgot,
not for angels as special as you, with wings."
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Thank you so much
for your kind words. The place I wrote about does exist it is a magnificant place in Northern California. Thanks again
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It's hard for me to look at you and not think of heaven.
You're an angel in my eyes and dreams made in heaven are never lost
It is really a heartfelt write revealing the beauty of the heart and this great nature as well...and also it is touching a kind of the universal grace in the every line of this poem.I am really impressed with the concept and its strength as well...
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thank you
for your kind comments on my write
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I love this poem! Great use of imagery and a peaceful outlook. Great Job!
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thank you
for your kind comments, glad you liked it
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Excellent Masterpiece!
Right down my alley,Dave..Talk about a mountain top experience!Everything here is to my liking,The scenery,the mood..Nature...and your lovely words to that special one....This is a favorite to me! Excellent Masterpiece!
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Wow...looks like your getting rave reviews on this one...and I can't say I blame anybody.
This piece is amazing, it's so beautiful, and even though I'm not religious/spiritual in any way, this piece still finds a way to give me faith...
...hope.
Something I've been missing in my life for a long, long time.
Thanks so much for sharing this beautiful piece, it's amazing. I really liked stanza 2...it just took my breath away.
Great write!
Xx -
There is such an intense amount of personal satisfaction and feelings of liberation to the mind and spirit when the ink flows so freely from our pen, divulging the thoughts, feelings and emotions that we so often set aside, hide or otherwise ignore. I sense that free spiritedness in your work here.
♥ Touchof1der
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Thank you
for your kind words I appreciate it and your so write about the flow of the pens ink it takes the mood definitely thanks again
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this was great. I liked the images your words brought forth. awesome write. thank you for sharing. keep on writing. peace and light, Kendal
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Thanks Kendal
for your kind words about my poem, "love on a mountain top". glad you enjoyed reading it.
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beautiful
this is very, very nice. i love how you described everything. "It's hard for me to look at you and not think of heaven."- i love this wonderful job and thanks for sharing
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Very discriptive and i enjoyed it a lot well done
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This is the top poem i read today!! Like there is superior poems here but this one feels like home It's incredibly beautiful. Lots of beatitude in faith of love to last and heavenly power. Having faith in another person means to be certain of the reliability and unchangeability of their fundamental attitude in the validity of love. To be told that you remind the other half like the heavens oufffff, this is the art of loving in full practice! Faith in love as high as mountains touching skies and as durable in eternity Faith of a promise and vision of the heart. A lot of omniscience and omnipotence in your fabulous poem. These lines - A place of nature where spirits run free
and heaven we can touch
we can look into our infinite destiny
with a moon lit view of forever
This dance under the moonlight is a consensus of hearts reached and to stay. In love and best regards! He has my wings
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thank you for the comment
your critique was very helpful and you found so much meaning in my poem. Your comment was more poetic than my write you have a special way with words I can only hope to learn. Thank you for your kind words
sincerely David(roaddog)
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'Slopping'- should this be 'sloping'? It'd make more sense as 'sloping'. 'Your an angel' should be 'you're an angel'. This was a powerful love poem, I liked the natural imagery you used here. Good luck in the contest
Pozo
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Great poem! I love how you write a story in each of your poems! =)
Only thing I have to suggest(and it's just cause I'm picky) in stanza 2, last line... Angels needs to be Angel's since you referred to one, and stanza three, line 6... I think heavens should be heaven's, but I just could be taking that one wrong
Wonderful job! I loved it!
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Good
Good poem, a nice love story with a differnt discriptive twist. Vivid imagery, and strong use of word language. Even if it was the most written about topic in poetry youmade it quite original and intersting.
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