Once upon a golden ship
That floated on golden seas
Sails shimmering, sides glistening
floating, floating
endlessly~
Once upon a golden ship
Shimmering upon golden waves
Breezes whispering,
floating, floating,
through...
the haze~
Once upon a Golden ship
Lost in the troubled sea
Shores shining, sands beckoning,
floating, floating
wearily~
Once upon a golden ship
Swallowed by a golden glow
Only infinite sky above
floating, floating,
currents below~
Once upon a golden ship
Immersed in a golden land
Knows not where it is going
floating, floating
by guidance
of a golden
hand~
Author notes
Written July 26th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything!! *with a catch* (For Chocolate-Eating Peg Leg Pirates Only) by jessicabuzz.
1000 points, ended August 17, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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Congrats on the Gold trophy, Sis! I enjoyed this..it gave me the feeling of being at sea (and I didn't even get sea-sick).
Love Ya!
Maureen 
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Sigh... This poem takes me right to the place and it is truly beautiful penning.
You are well deserving of the gold, good pirate. 
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congradulations on the gold
nice one dear sister bravo
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i loved it, all of it. thank-ou for sharing, wow
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kind of takes you back to days of yore.Very poignant and well written.Blessed be
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A definite metaphor for life, as so many of your readers have said here. I loved your imagery, your rhythm and rhyme, the way the waves seemed to be gently crashing on the bow and the boat rocking with the gentle movement of the sea it was on. I loved these lines best:
Once upon a golden ship
Immersed in a golden land
Knows not where it is going
floating, floating
by guidance
of a golden
hand~
It was fairy-tale like, almost dreamy, and somewhere I'd like to be, I do think
You've got a gift here. Thanks for your comment on "Insomnia" - I think there's a lot of people who can relate to that poem. I hate not sleeping; tonight was another night where I was up with a sore back, unfortunately. Good thing I had good poetry to keep me going Thanks again and nice to meet you!
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I worked on a sailing vessel for many years on Cape Cod...and this brings back the feeling of being on the sea that I have missed so very much these last few years. There is little water here in the desert and though it is possessed of it's own magic, it pales in comparison to a ship and a star to sail her by...thank you Susan for this precious gift...hugs...Rowan
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Life is a sea and it will toss you around... you will only drift if you let yourself do so... the sea of emotion and chaos can be turbulent! But in the end, there are calmer oceans ahead... as you expressed well in the last stanza of your poem. Another creation worthy of praise as sculpted by your hand. I like it.
Many blessings,
Raven Aurora -
Just beautiful Susan Your Golden Ship sounds like a good place to be to soothe a troubled soul.
~Von~
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Oh my i just love thissssss!! Susan ~
Well guess you probably already know why?
how i love this beautiful poem of yours
You brought all of the sea and magic together
in this one poem and gave us hope in this
beautiful ship of Gold!
Wow! ..You are such a lovely poetress my Dear!
Love this one so much!! Love you to Hon* ~ ~
Must save to my fovorite Sea poems
HuGs to YOUUUUUU
Sweety* this was just wonderful!!
~Mina oXo
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An amazing write Susan!!! I love the golden ship as a metaphor for our own lives...Sometimes in life we just sail along, but sometimes the waves are troublesome, we sail thru misty hazes, or there are currents to pull us in other directions, but always, there is that unseen hand that guides us to land...another awesome write from the pen of Susan!!!! I hope you reach your golden sands very soon
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Your work is always so calm..so beautiful, regardless of the subject matter...
Susan..are you just one of those gals that glow calmness? cause if ya are..i NEED to be where you are!
absolutley stunning write...par usual..such talent!
love ya
~Pamela -
Susan
Very beautiful
Lovely words brought glorious life to this golen ship, I felt like I was stepping into a golden sunset, with your amazing images
Love you,
Karen
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I wish that I was on the golden ship on the golden sea being guided
by golden hands. Short sweet and amazingly beautiful write. Well done. -
The repititions of the words give the feel of rocking back and forth on waves, which works well with the theme of the piece, nicely done.
~~whims -
Very, very lovely and soothing piece
The repetitious lines are like the rocking of a ship
The metaphor, a truth worth repeating
Very well done
Poetic hugs to you -
This was wonderful...I took the entire thing as a metaphor to a life...........once had direction etc....and now is just floating sort of lost day by day , hoping to find solid land again ...and therefore I found the repetition of some words very fitting.......guess everyone reads differnt things into an authors write.....anyway , this is MY story and I am sticking to it As usual Susan , I enjoyed . Hope that migraine is better
Reenie
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A golden ship would be a weight! So very thin to float…
I feel it might contravene the safety regs, to sail in such a boat,
But then if the sea is also gold – to float is not so hard,
But you’d have to watch the clipper skipper, clipping at the yard…
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Your words are woven so very well in this particular piece... It is perfect in every way as far as I am concerned... The imagry is supurb! Thank you for a fine piece of poetry .... I love the background and the picture you chose for this poem....
mina -
Very pretty! Had a sing-song quality that make it sound lovely read out loud. Nostalgic tone, "Golden ships floating wearily" in my mind...
Always a pleasure,
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a ride on a golden ship on golden seas would be heavenly. I hope this poem doesnt mean you are drifting away like this ship is.. I love you too much for you to drift away from me. This was great Susan, your work always is.
Lynn -
Life can only float away if you chose to let your grasp go.I say hold it and hold it tight.Your friends will forever help guide you in any way they can.Let the golden hand be your guide.....have faith hun..........things always get better.
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I know you feel like this, like
your life is floating and you don't
have direction..but for that golden
hand. It will be alright, Sus.
You have your friends. -
I love the concept and imagery. I like this piece the way it is, but since you asked for my opinion LOL I will give you some ideas. The repetitiveness of "floating" on a single line throws off the flow a bit.
Maybe?...floating
floating endlessly
Or? Sails shimmering, sides glistening
floating endlessly
Maybe using an alternative word for golden (except in regard to the ship) might give a little more impact. Such as:
Once upon a golden ship
That floated on azure seas
I do love this and the last stanza ties it together very well. Maybe you are going for a "floaty" feeling with the repetitiveness of floating and in that regard it makes sense. Either way you go, this is a lovely piece
~Kathy
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Oh, this is really nice, blush. I like the way you repeat letters to create a nice gentle flow to the lines....very well done
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well, i must say, i think it's grand!
the imagery you placed within your words is incredible, i could see a golden ship upon the waters in my mind being guided by the golden hand you finish this marvelous piece with!
blessed be
mike -
Enjoyed this! Liked the feeling of floating along guided by a golden hand...Very Nice!
< 3 Maureen -
wow, i'd love to be on the golden ship right about now beautifully done hun. Blind faith can be a wonderous thing sometimes. loved this
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