I planted a Rose to brighten my smile,
she was a delicate flower indeed.
Caring for her became no small trial;
I showed less attention than she would need.
The blooms that were red then faded to grey
and I feared for the Rose that I cherished.
My flower wilted in the heat of day;
left alone for too long she soon perished.
More than rain was needed to quench her thirst
so I bent down to pluck her from the soil.
But sharp, biting thorns tore at my hand first
causing tears to wet the ground where I toil.
These tears nourished my lovely Rose somehow,
her life renewed right there before my eyes.
Velvety blooms, softer than ever now,
bewildered, I held tenderly to my prize.
Once again the petals blazed a bright red
reflecting the deep crimsons of my heart.
But few days would pass 'til my Rose was dead;
holding her to my chest, I fell apart.
Those ill-gotten thorns remain in my hand,
a constant reminder of my dear Rose.
Through this, though, I have come to understand
that you don’t always reap what you sow.
Author notes
This piece is a followup to another piece I wrote:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/1916819
These were about a woman that entered my life for a short time many years ago. Our relationship rode a wild roller coaster for several months before finally ending.
As with all my poetry, I appreciate constructive feedback so that I can improve as a writer. Please give it to me straight, I'm a big boy, I can take it.
A contest entry
- Bouquet of Thorns by Never Fall in Love.
1750 points, ended May 17, 2007, 45 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Very nicely done, love the Rose metaphor, i use it myself occasionally. Good rhyme and flow with great imagery. You have done well.
Best of luck and congrats on the Silver... Scott
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A beautiful write ... passionate and romantic ... just beautiful.
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Well done
This is very well written, It takes great skill to have a rhyme like you had, Thank you for entering...
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BITING THORNS TORE
Amazing,awesome.Triple wow to you.This impressed me so much.Biting thorns tore,an atmospheric combination of words.Appealing. Thankyou -
Excellant/intriguing
A most intriguing romantic write, indeed. Very well written with imagery well selected to show the trials and triumphs of a relationship.
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Mmmm, I like this, it touched my heart.
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What can I say that hasn't already been said except it is a beautiful poem and so well written. This is the first poem of yours that I have read and it truly touched my heart. Great write.
Hugs and love,
Petratani
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Awesome write...such a pleasure to read...
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This is a very beautiful piece,It really flows and I love the way you use the rose to represent the woman!
I feel a lot of emotion in this poem.You are a really good writer,keep up the good work!
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Congrats to you, this is beautiful lol I loved this poem!
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Masterfully memorable
I've read and written many rose poems, but none covered the depths of lost exquisitely as this. With each tear-stained word I could feel the passion of such loss. Thank you for sharing such an intimate and outstanding muse.
~Milly
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You are one of the best
on this site, my friend -
my eyes drink in each
word you write, yet I am
never full...I always
seem to want more and more.
This is beautiful and
poignant - I think we have
all had a "Rose" or "Thorn"
in our lives...you've written
it well.
Love, Lane
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Once wounded, no matter that we might be Rose, there is a blight, a scar, a reason that something eats at us from the inside out..our heart is never the same. This poem is reason for us to look back at our slights, at times we have slighted someone and do the only thing we can...treasure what was and memorialize it by sending loving thoughts.
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Classic nostalgia
I will not argue that there are a few places where the reader has to put out a touch of effort. However, this is not a good poem for me to judge or critique as I am forever searching for the punchline which for me is the summation, the clarity, the close. You delivered that so brilliantly that any flaw would be over shadowed by that last line and the build up to it. I know the program, I have lived it as well. It is almost as though there is no amount of nuturing that could make that garden grow. Again, different from when we first let me into your library, but a fine addition to a human yet magical collection that you have impressed upon this shallow vacuum I call my soul. RC
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Great Stuff
I write based on more or less the same structure as this..and i must say an impressive description of women in ur life -
nice i really like i
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'a rose is a rose is a rose' Gertrude Stein
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lovely
wow strong meanings very good I liked it a lot good job. My favorite lines "Once again the petals blazed a bright red
Reflecting the deep crimsons of my heart
But few days would pass 'til my Rose was dead
Holding her to my chest, I fell apart"
keep up the good work
stevie
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The imagery is very sensitive, and the way you have handled is absolutely graceful. Keep rocking!!
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Great metophorical poem this is so great I could actualy see it in a poetry book. It was very well put together and had great meaning. Great Job
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Stunning
This is a great write with wonderful metahors and imagary and very creative. The flow however, feels to me as though it could do with a wee bit of improving, as it seemed to stutter along, when I read it out loud. Otherwise a truly great piece of work.
Love, hugs and blessings
Marilyn
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I loved the metaphors contained within this piece. that in itself is ultimately poetic thinking transferred to paper. You are well on your way! I am thankful I clicked on this one. you should be proud of your work..Peace and light, Kendal
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well written but wonder about emotional content...
this is a very sad then uplifting then sad poem...i guess i find myself wondering ( as i re-read it several times) if this is a construct of your imagination or if it is a lament of your heart pouring out the dammage, hurt and loss you regrettably must cary now through life... perhaps i ask too much of you to clarify this questioning perspective of mine...
regardless of my take on it; good write for certain!
-Dev -
You've made a valid statement. Have you ever read the poem "Mother to Son" by Langston Hughes?
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This was very well constructed and thought out. i loved the comparisons in this lovely write!
Blessings,
Azlyn
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Excellent
A very unique extended metaphor for a budding romance
that wasn't nurtured sufficiently, I take it. A real pleasure to read, and best of luck in the contest.
David Michaels
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