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Temporary Wounds

You'll get a lifetime for this.

For the blood spilled from my vein
By your dagger.

Your kiss of tainted innocence has left me
With a need for your lips,
And a lust for revenge.

Was it supposed to be this way?
You've tossed me in this hell;
But don't think you can stop me.

You fooled me, betrayed me once,
But it won't happen again.

Don't believe I'll forget.
I'll avenge the life you stole.

You're running out of places to hide from me.

Don't you worry;
The score will even out.

And then someday,
We can be together again.
United in death,
And residing in hell.

I will be with you.

Author notes

REVENGE!

Inspired by "It's Not a Fashion Statement, it's a Deathwish" -My Chemical Romance

When you find yourself in a hole, STOP DIGGING!!!!

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Clear-Cut Crystal
    August 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    good write. i liked it a lot. It was beautifully written, and dark too. It's very hard to find a poem like this. good job and good luck in my contest!


  • AutumnsFlame
    July 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    At first I liked your description..... that was good. But I felt this was way too close to the origional and you used some exact lines of MCR's lyrics... Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


    • Veeolin
      July 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah. That's definitely true. I did use several exact lines. This was one of my first song inspired ones...I guess I was trying to get the feel of how to do it.

      Thanks for the comment at any rate. ^^


  • MelissahhMidnite
    July 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    That was awesome. i love the feel of the words.
    Great job.
    Bob sounds like an evil bunny..

  • wendymolly
    June 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    your convictions are obviously well worked and great with this powerful message in it's very conception and meaning! great writing with this freewrite! good luck in the contest and urafinalist!


  • ibsons hysops
    June 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i liked this!


  • GraeyVixen
    May 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    !ai dios mios!

    ..I dont even know if thats right but its..along the lyns of..OhMyGawd!...Its strong I lyk strong..good job and good luck in this competition


  • DepressedAngel
    May 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    thanks for entering my contest...i like this alot... great type of write..one of my fav.....lovin it...Heather


  • Flossy
    May 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    it's very emotional. the poem definitly feels like a wish for revenge. very nice how you worked it out.

1 - 12 of 12