Syringes full of failed attempts
and locked plexiglass windows
[drips insignificance in nutrition labels]
I'm swimming in my paper gown again,
sitting on cold metal
as they test my reflexes to fight back
when someone tries to touch me again.
Well, a few more dancing fingertips
and I'll be strong enough
(to break myself for real
--this time)
and I bet you find a way out
of this chamaeleon-skin world;;
but baby I'll be the one standing
laughing at your "freedom"
while you disappear
under the weight of your 11:11 wishes
and hollow labyrinth dreams.
And I'll destroy my ears if that's what it takes
to stop hearing
the way you mocked my past--
resurfacing it to future tense....
I’m spinning headfirst into a twilight zone of
subliminal forehead kisses and
obsolete I love you’s, though don’t
get me wrong babe;;
these jeans are dangling
from my hipbones and my mind’s
resonating with crushed pill bottles
but---
isn’t this exactly what the fuck you wanted?
Author notes
by jade + me.
I'm not quite sure I understand the "if you want a gold trophy from the one then you can enter a prewrite (both of you)"
[[i'm slow]]
In a list
A contest entry
- DP second win. by Escape--.
1200 points, ended May 12, 2007, 2 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - dirty-pretty collabs beginning by Escape--.
1200 points, ended May 14, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is amazing. You've been a genius from the start! =]
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wow
u and altephobia--x wrote my all time fav poem
ahh i l-o-v-e it
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thanks!! =]
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by the way, you have to enter this piece in her first contest too <33
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yayyy for us!!!
erm, i don't get what that part means either
[the part you referred to in your author notes]
buuut hopefully we'll get it all straightened out?
i'm just happy that we won =]]
you're so amazing<3
-
Well, a few more dancing fingertips
and I'll be strong enough
(to break myself for real
--this time)
i loved that.
i'm not sure why...
this is a gorgeous piece.
beautiful job, ladies.
♥
-
I fucking adore you, and that's really all there is to it.
You're by far one of the most amazing writers in the world, love.
I wish I had written this. I'm so jealous of your writing.
"Syringes full of failed attempts
and locked plexiglass windows
[drips insignificance in nutrition labels]"
"I’m spinning headfirst into a twilight zone of
subliminal forehead kisses and
obsolete I love you’s, though don’t
get me wrong babe;;"
and the Ending like was just like B A M M !
it's beautiful.
I loved it.
&hearts
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This is amazing dear!!!
This stanza:
I'm swimming in my paper gown again,
sitting on cold metal
as they test my reflexes to fight back
when someone tries to touch me again.
I LOVED. ADORED.
I would, however, suggest leaving out the second "again" at the end. I think it would have been great just to leave that hanging.....
these jeans are dangling
from my hipbones and my mind’s
resonating with crushed pill bottles
but---
isn’t this exactly what the fuck you wanted?
absolute poetry. You are just magic. This is the best. LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE!!!!
~Slip
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