Far too long, 'tis this dying year
I see the fire cast of love burning bright
Yet you shan't see me crying here
The fires within one's heart thou should fear
That burn into the deep darkness of our night
Far too long, 'tis this dying year
The end of our love cometh quite near
Passion of all forms will be forced into flight
Yet you shan't see me crying here
I curse thy father's name with such a leer
Now must we venture forth with blinded sight
Far too long, 'tis this dying year
To love the future of love, fellow man, jeer
'Tis the future to chose wrong from right
Yet you shan't see me crying here
I know my words now seem unclear
But soon enough love won't be worth the fight
Far too long, 'tis this dying year
Yet you shan't see me crying here
Author notes
Written July 26th, 2003
A contest entry
- +_+Wirite about love....long lasting/dying love+_+ by BlondiesRSmart2.
300 points, ended June 11, 2004, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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wow every good poem....Good luck
P.S loved the words you used....'tis, shan't, etc.. -
Doesn't look like haiku to me...far from it.
Looks like a nice poem to me.
I like the repeat of the words
They shant see my crying here. Cheryl -
The form is far from Haiku...It is in the same form as my favorite poem, "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" by Dylan Thomas...The rhyme scheme is ABA, ABA....ABAA. and some of the the lines repeat..It is a very difficult form of writing, but it allowed me to cherish it when i finished (especially after a few corrections) I think at the time I wrote this poem, I was aiming for almost a shakespeareian atmosphere about it..I didn't quite attain that, but i came fairly close...The poem itself is not perfect in any form, and win or lose, I am still very very proud of it...it is indeed my favorite piece...Thank you for your kind words!! I hope to read some of your work soon!
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This is pretty good, I don't like the style or word choice much... I did enjoy how it was broken though, it sounds excellent the way it's written. If you were attempting Haiku, you were a bit off, but anything else and this is great.
Good luck! -
I was inspired by my best friend, Cody, who believes in a love different than the love that i believe in
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Undeniably excellent
I love the title of this piece! The style in which this was written makes me think of Shakespeare.. it's just so beautiful. The rhyme scheme is continous throughout the poem, which can sometimes make poems a little flat, but yours lacked nothing and the way of rhyme just made it all the better. Truly a gem. -
wonderful
This is wonderful.
I'm going to have to add this one to my favorites.
Severed,scribbled,forsaken passions.
This write really strikes a chord with me.
I've been through "The Dying Year."
Magnificent write.It bleeds with raw emotion.
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