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Wake up

This age groans with terror.
Hot fear bubbles from cracks in
un derst andi ng.
The swampy heat breeds fierce contempt:
a smug eyeless beast,
all self-rightious blind anger
, tamed by gross puppeteers who
Grin from rafters as
Time and again
the monstrous fear is released
driving us back to our acronyms:

www. P.C. D.V.D. T.V.

 

 

Hear us chant                             
theMANTRAof the bubble-bound:

feed me, clothe me, save me

fill my mind with talkshowwisdom

and selfhelp and free me from these

blackGODbrownFORSAKEN infidels

who clutter our 10o'clocknews with their

idiotic passion for something

greater than themselves.

 

(wake)

    (the fuck)

              (up) 

or at least start dreaming      

(please,)

before they carve our nightmares across the sky

Author notes

Hope this isnt offensive to anyone, Its just really the way that I feel. I think that the terrorism that takes place is not done by evil men, just men with priorities that we cant understand, but i think that in their minds, they are dying and killing for beautiful truths (at least in thier minds). We have done the same, and are killing ridiculous numbers of citizens still in Iraq and the Afgan, not to mention countless times in the past.

I think it is ourselves that should be seeing at least some of the fault here. We sit here and let the government continue to shape a decadent, self indulgent society with no REAL care (plenty of platitudes) for the earth, its citizens or really even for ourselves. We have become the very 'heathens' that we sent missionaries to.

And i do belive that this fear is capitalized on by the media and the government, and plenty of racist groups, and action groups.


so that was my instant reaction.....

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • flyingphoenix
    July 1, 2007

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    Wow, this took me a few reads to 'get it', but that's totally my fault! this is really good. You can really feel your feelings pouring through here, and it's written in a way that allows them to come outin a structured way. I really like the 'bubble-bound' description, very inventive.

    I emjoye this a lot, thanks for entering it, it has a lot of levels to it, all relevent to the poem and title.

    A great job,

    Webber

  • Bob Fox
    June 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Hard write

    But I think I know where you are comming from. So tough not to just go with the flow. Bravo poet


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    June 11, 2007
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    I love the ending stanza, nice write.

    whisper


  • Zahhar gold member
    June 3, 2007

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    the nightmare is already carved across the sky, and in our souls, and in all beings. it's call lust, desire--and we each suffer from it. we each are burned alive in its decimating fires. it is the plight of those members of society who merely wish to live and let live to endure the decisions of their chiefdom's chief, be it tax of property or more, mayhem or war.

    the only way out is for the individual. there is no perfect society, and all suffer the chaotic tumble of cognition through the fretful sleep of death and birth.;

  • skaldkraft
    May 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A comment on your work is difficult. Your passion for your beliefs is obvious, the frustration of youth is also obvious. Know that you are not alone and that so many people feel the way that you do. They are confused--that's intentional. Perhaps you could help them out of that confusion by incorporating answers as well as questions within your writing (this requires research--type in neo-medievalism, globalization, neocommunist movement, cult of Isis, world bank, world education institute, BP in the US, global news outlets/corporations, the Pacific Rim, find out what's going on in Geneva, Switzerland in your search engine, these words and phrases could possibly give you answers to the "they"--but be prepared for a wild ride). As you continue to write, consider the art in your craft. Free verse demands a beat or a rhythm certain constants must be addressed. Keep writing, keep researching.

    • Lugh
      May 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for taking the time to comment. I'm glad you grasped my passion, and my frustrations. These were indeed my frustrations during the time when i worked with and for many groups, dealing with a number of the things that you mention above.

      However, fighting against (and telling others about) globalization, for socialism, against the world banks, against the media,etc... merely served to alienate myself from those who simply didn't care. Then I stopped caring and fussing myself for a good few years. This was until a close (and much older friend) awoke me again. To call this anger the frustration of youth seems quite dismissive. Perhaps that was not the intention, and in that case i apologise. You just make it seem as if I know nothing of what i speak (e.g the list of study aids) and just feel this nameless frustration.

      I know that there are a multitude of reasons beyond the fear and apathy that i highlight in this poem, but I do feel like the actual problem lies with the people themselves. If we would awake from our moral apathy, or at least began to dream of grander glories, then we can change things for the better. No amount of research will tell me where or what this 'better' is. No previous movement will wholly emcompasses what needs to take place. To free ourselves, all of us must begin to actively construct and contribute to our world, and this will take a new form that nothing that has gone before will fully understand or appreciate.

      It is this mass awakening (however unlikely) that I wish for, and it is that desire that I was trying to get across in this poem. I offer my own views on life and its improvement in other poems, but I felt this was better left as an angry call to action. I dont think that it would have aided the poem to add options for growth afterwards what I said. I feel the poem would lose alot of power.

      Finally, when you say that Free verse demands beat or rhythm... I dont neccessarily agree. How would you improve the rythm as it stands? what constants must be addressed? How could I create a rhythem more appropriate?

      If you could answer those questions I would be very grateful!


  • storiesuntold gold member
    May 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was truly interesting as you see the tube as I do. For the bubble as you call it is like watching a rerun in the mirror with no end . What a waste of time that could be used elswhere and find great joy in life

  • Davep
    May 17, 2007

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    Hey tyler i really like this, especially the way in which the form of your poem gets your message accross.the ending is very good. nice to read the whole thing after you told me some of it in synergy.

  • aqua -rius
    May 17, 2007

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    Srong sentiments!

    Terror-fear-fierce- cotempt- beast-blind anger- moster-
    fine selection of words to send the waves across~!


  • HopelessPoet1087
    May 16, 2007

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    very nice, strong emotion, please keep up the good work i hope to see more poems like this in the future


  • Xx.Toxic.xX
    May 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    verry nice, this poem holds strong emotion, keep up the good work, good luck on future writes

1 - 11 of 11