I already know it's over
I've known for years
Dried out like stover
And I'm lost in a sea of fears
But the fears are nothing
I've seen my death up close
Naught but a sting
I just wait for the blows
The shame once great is gone
All that's left are my tears
My life has been withdrawn
There are no more fears
It all began with a dream
One I had first time at seven
I still hear the piercing scream
And I try to leaven
Underneath a bridge I see
My nineteen-year-old soul released
No longer really me
Inside is nothing but a beast
I claw my way through my body
And watch the blood run out
I fully disembody
While the lout tries to save me, in despair and doubt
Author notes
It's true.. the dream. Had it from age 7 and until I turned 20.
A contest entry
- deppressed/suicide/hurt/lost love/cutting(SA, SI) by Felix BlackHeart.
375 points, ended May 13, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Dreams can leave vivid taints behind both good and bad, this is no different, sounds like something was bothering you, which carried over into your sleep, your mind fagmented those emotions into this dream/nightmare.
Powerfully charged poem so bizarr yet intriguing too, to have the same dream for all those years, must have been hard, to close your eyes at night, knowing what you had to face, deeply sorry for that, though I know you not, I do know pain, is all I know well, deep words woven in your poem here.
One question since i can be a bit dumb at times, but what is (stover)?
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Stover is the dried stalks and leaves of a field crop used as animal fodder after the grain has been harvested.
I needed a word, and I found stover, and I thought it was.. wellplaced.
Thank you for your comment, I much appreciate it.
MJ
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Awesome
This part right here hit it on the note.
"Underneath a bridge I see
My nineteen-year-old soul released
No longer really me
Inside is nothing but a beast"
I like it best because it's almost like your talking about shedding your skin. That's not always a bad thing. Once again, I can relate to a lot of your work. you bring a lot of your writings to life, and that's what I like when I read others work.
Awesome read.
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this is verygood write. very wellw riten. I enjoyed how you layed things out. thanx for entering!
Felix BlackHeart
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