War is the distant rumble, rolling on the horizon
War is the crack of a rifle over the hill
War is the burnt out houses which line the street
War is the crying mother next door
The howl of incoming shells surounds you
The following shock wave knocks your senses into a spiral
Blood sprays across your face
War is the pain you feel as another child lies motionless on the ground
War is the constant fear inside you as you hear yet another explosion
War is the bodies which are covered with cloth, stained red
War is the flies, the crows which feast on somones son
The cold trigger against your finger
You tense as the rifle kicks in your hands
Now as the blood soaks your clothes your hands begin to shake
War is the distant look in the eyes of the body slumped against the wall
War is as raw as the soldiers burnt exposed flesh
War is not the answer
Author notes
Dont start war
A contest entry
- Battle Of The Sexes (Testosterone Power) by Cupcrazy.
600 points, ended May 30, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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A wonderful piece filled with truth and reality. Nice form and flow. I enjoyed this piece. Thnaks for your fine entry. Hugs, Bunny
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yeah...
this one kicks the readers ass with an undeniable truth
war is traumatic...
very
not that i would know, since i haven't experienced it. but i know that what i imagine isn't pleasant, and what i imagine is probobly not even close to its true brutality.
it seems that everyone in the US has forgotten about the war...i havent, my brother is there...
its really frightning to think that he could be staring at the lifeless body of someone he just killed...
all and all...i think you are right.
"War is not the answer"
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Thanks
Thanks alot for the comment and i think thats paartly why i wrote it to remind myself and others, and i havent expirenced either and i hop i never do. Thanks for the comment, this is probably the most meaniful comment ive ever got.
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"Distant rumble in the distance" is a little repetitive, don't you think? Spell check please. Lose the comma in line 11, it's the only place in the poem you use punctuation and there's no sense in that. Lack of punctuation keeps it raw, which is good for a piece like this. Line 14 ought to say "your hand" Really loved line 10; great, hard hitting imagery. Good poem, although I may not agree with all of it.
Interesting side note: Today's Army primarily uses the M-16, which has almost no kick. -
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Well your wrong there, the most commonly used automatic rifle is the AK-47 which has a hell of alot of kick, plus it was only really the american army which used the M-16, which has since been replaced, and we have hardly got to the stage where a high powered rifle like that has almost no kick, you can tell me when you fire one. Who ever said i was talking sbout modern warfare in the first place.
anyway i made some changes which you might like better, thanx for the advice.
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