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Broken Hearted

You left my heart to die
You did'nt give Me a chance to cry or to survive
You made me think I loved you. And then you
tore out my heart. And left me broken hearted.
Without anything to live for in the world.
When I found you I loved you.
And when I lost you I knew I would be
Broken hearted forever.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Hedgie
    July 16, 2007

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    Yes it hurts. But don't let that stop you. There will be others, and you'll find some gems amid the pain.

    Keep writing (but watch the apostrophes)!


  • honeybrown
    July 16, 2007

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    very straight forward and simple. IM not sure I like the centered style, but the words were nice
    thanks for the comment on my poem
    luv always
    jenae


  • Atrophya
    June 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awww... =[ This is so sad. I'm sorry. I've been here many times. Hope you feel better. >.< No sadness!! Much love. <3<3


  • beatlemaniac
    May 21, 2007

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    Its really good.

    I can't comment much on it, i just know what i like and i like this poem. But to be honest with you...I personally don't like to read poems. Which is ironic considering i write a lot of them. I never enjoyed reading them, in school, or outside no less. And like most poets are, i'm completely unsatisfied with my own work. But, even though it does't make sense that, i don't like to read them, but i like them...i don't know. i'm rambling now, i do that...but just know that i like this one. lol


  • Onyx-Rose
    May 10, 2007
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    This was okay, but you didn't completely follow the rules seeing as how there are no comments in your author's box. If you wish to stay in the contest I pray you follow the rules, as that is why they are there. Thanks for entering the contest, I'll check again in a day or so, and if this isn't fixed I'm really sorry to say I'll have to DQ you. Good luck. Keep up the good work, the poem is good. Full of emotion and flowing easily with feeling. God bless.
    Onyx


  • Tear-Stained-Heart
    May 10, 2007

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    Great!

    yet another great write from you. i find the best thing about poetry is the fact that you can let out so many feelings and no one judges you. i love the whole of this poem and i will definately be reading your other posts.


  • my imaginary friend
    May 10, 2007

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    really good!

    oh wow! this is short but the ending so sweet and perfect nice work i really like this especially the ending great work


  • storiesuntold gold member
    May 9, 2007

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    Very sad but so very true for when one truly falls in love it is forever and the one that leaves never knew love and never will


  • grannyeri gold member
    May 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Welcome to AP and congratuations on posting your first poems. Remember how good that felt to let others know I was a poet. Appreciate that comment on Troubled Teen. It certainly is a tough time for some. Liked the sentiments you have expressed in these lines - easy to read and understand. As you write more you will find that all these periods at the end of the lines stop the flow of the poem, and it is sometimes good to have no punctuation at all or use commas or semi-colons if possible. Keep writing.

1 - 9 of 9