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The Feel of Skin

Longing for your touch
The sensations of skin upon skin
A weight at my back
the feel of holding you
your arms around me
moments like these never last long enough
but hopefully we will have many more.
Asleep next to my love.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • DecayedxBeauty
    May 9, 2007

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    Hmm now I wonder..
    Who could this be about? Sounds like a wonderful dream or reality. Keep on writing hun.
    Love you.

    Rinoa


  • dking
    May 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Nice

    Captures well the sensations of holding one that you love. Very to the point.


  • Axel Gold
    May 8, 2007

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    Cute. The last line ties everything together nicely, so definitely good job with that. I'm not sure I'm so crazy about the title, it sounds awkward to me, but I guess that's really you're call to make.

    One thing - you might wants to add some more punctuation to improve upon the flow. A few commas here and there could really make a difference.

    Nice job.
    --Axel Gold


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    May 8, 2007
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    This was beautiful. I loved it. Thanks so much for sharing your heart. Best wishes
    VSutton


  • facelessxfacade
    May 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Who's it about?

    Short. Sweet. To the point. [[[kind of like me!!! ;p ]]]

  • bellemichelle
    May 8, 2007

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    a little cliche no?
    just let it out, when you write poetry no thought is required...just type with your eyes closed and your brain off bc it comes from the soul and the heart and your dark spots where you hide your inadequacies. It's a puddle of emotions that doesn't have to make sense to anyone but you.
    it's a nice poem though
    read my poem "Birthday" if you like...all of my anger and frustraion and contrived inadequacies poor out inot the sucker


  • grannyeri gold member
    May 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Those are wonderful feelings, and become even more so when the two of you can do this forever. Sentiments well expressed in these lines - easy to read and understand how you feel. Liked the flow and the message you share, the images one can see from these words.

1 - 7 of 7