The grays
and the blues
peak my valley,
and I know,
it's all I
will ever know.
I try to retreat,
but it's far too late,
and your icy blue
is all I have
to hold on to.
What will you do,
with your greens
and blues,
when I have left
for the purples
and golds?
Those icy,
lonely shades
that will be
forever alone....
In a list
A contest entry
- Blue Veins by lie.
500 points, ended May 9, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Subtle rhyme in this works for me...
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wow
this is a really good one
i love how you used the colors, and the picture fit perfectly. great, great job
"What will you do,
with your greens
and blues,
when I have left
for the purples
and golds?"
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This is a beautiful write. It really paints a picture.
Thank you for sharing your work.
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There are so many.........................
ways of interpreting this piece and that is what makes you my friend a talented writer!!!!One can take a romantic spin with this how being left in waiting for this person to return the love you have until you decide he is no longer worth the wait and switch to the purple and golds as you say, or another spin could be the change of seasons written in a most creative way!!!Nicely done and worth the read for sure!!!Thanks for sharing!!!!~~Toni~~
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beautifully written
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I feel you could have added more to the piece to make it really stand out.
The piece is emotional without going overboard, and the structure was nice and simple.
I'm usually not a fan of random rhyme, but it is dispersed well throughout the poem and I think the piece is short enough so it the harmony isn't too prominent.
The images you used were good. The theme was sound, you stuck to it through the entire word.
Nice eye for punctuation. Good piece, thank you for the entry.
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this is amazing, again... you seem to captivate me with your words when you are in your so called funk.. this is quality material, genius... i love you
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cHANGING OF THE SEASONS WRITTEN IN A BEAUTIFUL WAY
i LIKE THE PEAK MY VALLEY AND YOU ICY BLUE
REALLY I LIKE THE WHOLE THING
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