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[cliche]love

simply a.m.a.z.i.n.g.
this boy is like
WHOA
and at the risk of sounding [cliche]
i'll say
he's too -good- for me
but i think we're in love when we touch
and i >know< we're in love
when he looks in my eyes
and the |w|o|r|l|d|
                stops
spinning.

and baby, when Robert Smith is playing our song
and we're wasting time
in my bed
with the tv turned down low
i think that's **heaven
and all those preachers are just l y i n g
to get us to behave.

Author notes

option ahout the falling in love with someone too good for you.
he's amazing.

A contest entry

another dirtypretty one. i think i'm on a roll. :]

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • endless-lover silver member
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    love-love-love

    one of the most hurtful yet amaing things in life , lovely write hun keep it up..xoxox

    vanna


  • Catastrophic.Icingg
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    haha...I love this DarlingDizu :]]
    Very talented!
    I love the last two lines, there my favorite and OH so true :]


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    January 15
    Edit | Reply
    this is simply amazing
    such a wonderful expression of one's feelings

    very well penned


  • La Tua Cantante
    February 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ahhh. The joys of
    f
    a
    l
    l
    i
    n
    g
    in ♥love♥

    I really like this one. I know how you feel. Wanting someone you can't have. My favorite part is:
    "and at the risk of sounding [cliche]
    i'll say
    he's too -good- for me"

    Wonderful.

    Thank you & Good luck in my contest.


  • Quetzalcoatl
    May 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    you are indeed on a roll- once again i'm impressed with this new way of writing you have... almost a little risque (for lack of being able to think of better vocabulary at the moment) for you. I like the way that the words themselves aren't the only visually appealing part of the poem- i'm not usually one for poetry that expresses the author's feelings with any more than what the words say inside your head, but i must say this sort of combination visual/language art is impressive. hopefully this isn't one of those ones you wrote for an assignment and not cuz you actually felt it, because I sure felt it.


    • Duchess Dizufish
      May 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks deemy. ^_^
      No, this one I actually wrote for me. Well, for the contest, but the contest really only inspired me. I did feel it.

1 - 6 of 6