highrise offices
pierce contaminated skies
raping the air
while trolling financiers buy lust by the barrel
their political ruttings fetid and lewd
cojoining salaciously with the urban smog
(someone it seems is always getting screwed)
white collar monkeys in their polyester shirts
swing in the grey dizzy with stupidity
drunkenly they play
barfing out feathered hearts onto the masses down below
mustering millions, george bush,
big man on the dance floor
boogies at the disco of defence
re-addressing god's almighty will and america's reticent despair
beyond the shade of shadows
in graffiti covered metro stations
foraging in deeply littered alleyways
adam and his beeyatch eve grimace in the swirling sperm
too wasted to remember trees ... scrounging for a trade
finding an outdated newsweek magazine in the trash
adam turns to eve to say ...
"someone aughta kick his ass"
peering up at skyscapers reeking of babel and decay
eve looks knowingly at adam and segues
"every dog will have his day"
pupils waning, adam touches eve's hand ...
"you're right, it's all going rotten ...
i've spit out a couple worms everyday"
A contest entry
- Hey Dude, Come Be Obscure! (4) by sock monkey.
525 points, ended May 22, 2007, 23 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - describe to me your land of milk and honey by deep space.
300 points, ended March 13, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wow a streetwise entry, great stuff,i love the lyrical content,i could imagine a rap on this.You know what your writing,best wishes here
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wonderful...
powerful... very well written... I love the imagery and the use of metaphor and the ambiguity (it works on many levels) of this piece... well done I enjoyed reading this very much =]

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This write used very powerful lexis such as 'raping air'. This metaphorical verb added to the two tones of the poem which I found, those of darkness and lust. I liked your use of alliteration with 'mustering millions' This was a powerful political piece and I liked how you used the spiritual here to create a sense of the modern from the biblical.
Pozo


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Pozo
Hey ... good to hear from you! Thanks for your encouraging comment! I am pleased you like this piece.
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Swirling sperm! This is a delight. I see a lot of forced meaning, a lot of pretentious irony. I love it.
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sock monkey
Hey! I am so glad you picked up the vibe I was trying to give this write. It developed because at first everything was so darkly obscure and ...well, predictable. So I went with the tongue in cheek and it pleased me too! Thanks for your fine comment!!
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1 - 6 of 6





