I am in line to be gassed. With muted voices
Fascists talk of things beyond my understanding.
The sky will fall, be it today or tomorrow,
and we will all be swallowed. But no, I am
regarded as a madwoman. And they pay no heed to me.
They have me pinched between their thumb and forefinger,
Watching me scuttle back and forth like a captive ant.
I will die like this, too, no dignity whatsoever.
The very earth seems to be moving beneath my feet,
As though God Himself has chosen now to
descend from His heavenly throne, and
He is making His presence known. The very pillars
that hold up the sky are trembling in fear.
Atlas, I think, would have been much
better suited for the job. Atlas would not have failed us.
I am still in line to be gassed.
I am still waiting my turn, as though this were
Just some line in a grocery store. And here is my number,
666. And here is my number. I am next.
I am always next, you see. It is like tomorrow.
You will spend your whole life
Eagerly awaiting the advent of tomorrow,
But you will never find it.
Tomorrow, the sky will fall,
If I am not gassed before it does.
Tomorrow, the Fascists will get what they deserve.
Tomorrow.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
With the line "I am in the line to be gassed" i think you can take out the "the", it feels a little too wordy to me. The poem in general seems a bit too wordy to me, maybe you can compress it somehow? I still love it though.
"They have me pinched between their thumb and forefinger" <--how I love that line.
What is Atlas exactly? I tried looking it up on the web but it only came up with map results
"Eagerly awaiting the advent of tomorrow" <--I love how you used advent.
Awesome poem. The subject matter of an extermination camp is total Plath subject matter, like the references to it in "Lady Lazerus" and "Daddy".
I'm always excited to see a new poem of yours. I am not dissapointed!
-
-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlas_(mythology)
there's some info on Atlas... Me'sll definitely be workin on this to see if I can't make somethin halfway decent out of it. But like I said, my muse is temperamental and has a mean sense of humor...and is likely enjoying tormenting me right now 
-
-
thank you for that. now I understand what you mean about Atlas
I know exactly what you mean, my muse can be very annoying and termpermental. she likes toying with me by inspiring me incessantly for weeks, and then saying nothing for half a year! this happens every year lol. so i hope you find your muse, ill be looking forward to reading your next piece
-
-
I know, and she was sooo nice to me the other day and gave me a halfway decent poem...and then decided to give me trash. like hellooooo? so not fair.
-
-
I'm sorry sweetie. I still think it's very good. Have you tried doing any freewrites from this site? Those sometimes helps me (I just wrote a new poem from a freewrite I did today actually). Maybe that'll help awaken your muse again?
-
-
I'm not sure if it will. it's kind of funny...when i need my muse the most it isn't there lol. I'm about to look at the poems I wrote recently and see what I can do with those and see if I can get ideas from them...
-
-
-
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
