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273°K


clouds are running
past the sky tonight
faster than the sunlight or the rainfall
faster than a sparrow
over spring’s first breeze
yet slower than the budding of a leaf

stars are turning
in the sky tonight
sharper than the snow in any winter
I’m not running
underneath that light
I’m colder than the ice within its gaze

seasons of memories
that fade beneath the light
windows so thick that touch
can never make it right,
it’s cold outside
but so much colder here within
with both hands spread flat
against the glass

the wind is howling
through the sky tonight
playing with the treetops and the birdcall
free as any gust of air
could ever hope to be
as lost and wild as anyone could dream

the moon is beckoning
the sky tonight
painting silver shadows on the grass
it’s cold outside
but so much colder here within
with both hands spread flat
against the glass





Author notes

Macey Muse ~

Hmm. Not hugely happy with this as a poem, extra words which are really unnecessary yet needed as lyrics, to fit.

If anyone wants to hear me sing this (a cappella, as my computer & mike are rather far from the piano and I can't play the guitar) then I've uploaded it here for your listening pleasure. (Please say if it hasn't worked.) I rather like this melody, which makes a change at least.

273°K is the temperature at which water freezes, by the way. Yes. I do know I can't title for toffee.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • blackday
    July 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know what happened with your recording, but it wouldn't play for me.

    i'd be willing to give this a full critique, but i have to remove it at this time.


    • Macey Muse
      July 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Um. I'm sorry about that - I've uploaded it to a new site, so hopefully it should work now

  • NeedaMuse
    June 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The mp3 didn't play. Based on the other comments, it seems to be playing sometimes, though. You may need to delete it and then upload it again.

  • Nicole Hanna
    May 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Dammit. I couldn't get the sound clip to work. lol. I could literally imagine what this would sound like while I was reading it, because it was simply that affective. And no, it's not mediocre. The contest didn't stipulate that you HAD to enter a poem (though of course, things like artwork would be hard to compare to written things), so a song is very suitable, and AS a song, this is really beautiful.


    • Macey Muse
      May 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Gah. It wouldn't play for me either just now... this is so annoying. D'you have an e-mail I can send it to, 'til I get this stupid thing to work?

      • Nicole Hanna
        May 19, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        Aha! I got to hear it. lol. For some reason, it worked for me a while ago, and gotta say... hearing it adds a whole new dimension to this piece that I thoroughly enjoyed. It works incredibly well as a vocal piece, even if just as spoken poetry. Just wanted to drop you a note and let you know I could hear it now. lol

1 - 6 of 6