Jack and Jill went up the hill
And down the other side
They went to then the next town over
Jack had something to hide
Jack and Jill danced all night
Then Jack fell from sight
And Jill squealed filled with joy
There was Jack kissing a boy
Now some would think this was weird
Not Jill, she's Jack's beard
A contest entry
- Fractured Fairy Tales by piccola.
700 points, ended May 11, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥♦ Fairytale friends & Action hero's...♦♣ by Rebekah-Ann.
525 points, ended February 1, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Twisted Fairy Tales by KayJay.
700 points, ended March 26, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fairytale's Spin by HereComesTheSun.
700 points, ended March 1, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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the first to stanza were awesome you did a great job with it the rhythm was awesome the rhyme is steady but that last two lines can be cut they really dont add anything to it and they dont mesh so well with the rest of the poem
thank you so much for entering -
Poor Jack and Jill have really come a long way since my childhood...
The imagery in this was so good.
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You have a great sense of humor. this was really a little twisted. lol. thanks for your entry.
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This is a great piece. Very funny, it inspires giggles and smiles all around. Lovely job, keep your sense of humor!!
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I just found out what a beard was the other night on Law and Order...well, thanks for the entry.
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Faaaaaaaaaaabulous!
Most excellent! Very clever idea, nice rhythm, and it flows really well. I <3 it!
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