If
granted
one wish, I
know right away,
mine would be for you.
I would ask for that one day.
The one where you'd get to say
all those things that you
did not get the
chance to say
before
your
firstborn
son, precious
and perfect was
stolen from your life.
Taken by the cruelest hand.
Forced to lie in cold, dark land.
Just nineteen years old.
I would wish for
that one day
where you
could
hold him
one more time
and feel his warmth
on the hands that loved
and cared for him all his life.
Hands that reach out, amid strife.
Searching for some way
to bring meaning
to such a
waste of
life.
Author notes
For my beloved friend Mags on what would have been her son Staurt's Birthday had he not been murdered aged 19 almost 20 years ago.
An arkquain, created by Arkbear.
Syl count 1,2,3,4, 5,7,7,5 4,3,2,1,2,4, 5,7,7,5 4,3,2,1,2,3,4, 5,7,7,5, 4,3,2,1,
In a list
A contest entry
- Humanity by SweetNessaLynn.
600 points, ended January 10, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ... Friendship ... by lost.and.alone.
570 points, ended March 15, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Aww
This is so lovely.
Thanks for entering. Good luck xx -
Wow! This is an amazing, sad poem. I like it and the form. Best of luck in my contest.
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I like the self created form,such a great form for for such sad subject. thanks for entering and best of luck
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WOW !!!!! It's beautiful to look at ~ (Format) ~ the read is perfect! BLOWN ME AWAY! you feel it! ITS everything~ It's simply amazing!!! WOW... Good luck in the contest! DANG this surely has to be a winner~
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Heartfelt!
I've had the experience of losing a son, it rips out your heart like a daggar!
Quite a undertaking - applying your words to this sad situation!
Thanks for your entry into my contest & Good Luck!
Tang
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a touching piece, full of compassion. it is so clear how much you love and care about your friend and share this burden with her. as a poem, this is amazing, soft-spoken, controlled, simply and carefully laying out the facts and words, gentle but powerful and hard-hitting.
"your
firstborn
son, precious
and perfect was
stolen from your life.
Taken by the cruelest hand.
Forced to lie in cold, dark land.
Just nineteen years old."
art on the page, makes it beautiful without minimizing any the pain and loss and his mothers love for him.
"and feel his warmth
on the hands that loved
and cared for him all his life."
wow. amazing, powerful piece. -
A great piece, I liked the unusual layout - I thought as a piece of writing that was a great touch.
This is heart wrenching and well expressed
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This is a beautiful piece for your friend.it flowed perfectly a truely lovely and thoughtful write well done
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well done, sis. *huggers* definitely on a roll here with the tributes. just so hard to accept people being so cruel and such. but there are so many of them. again, well done.
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