left to suffer and dwell,
what more was she supposed to do?
he left her there, with no knowledge of what,
would permanently tarnish her spirit
she would love him till her grave
she would willingly give her life just for his
but it wasnt enough, so she thought
what could she have done wrong?
nothing of which she knew
everything was going perfect
everything was getting better than before
he was the only one she needed and wanted
but in a single nights twist
her whole world was gone
she didnt want to believe what he supposebly did
but she had a feeling it was true
not a word nor a thought she could think to say
the only thing she knew was, its all gone
she had not a thing left to live for
everything was taken away the night he decided
to kill himself and end his tyranny
she prayed for it to be a simple night mare
but no matter how hard she tried to
block it out and forget, it wouldnt go away
she only knew to ask why, how, and when?
what could possibly be at fault?
did she screw up that much?
did she destroy everything like she thought?
she was so convinced she was at fault
she prayed for god to take her and not him
but no matter what she did,
his actions would not fade
He made her happy, and helped her love again
he gave her what was tooken away
he convinced her that she deserved better than she thought
but, he took it all back, in a single nights twist
she was left to suffer and dwell
what more was she supposed to do?
he left her there, with no knowledge of what,
would permanetly tarnish her spirit
not a word nor a thought she could think to say
the only thing she knew was, its all gone
she had not a thing left to live for
everything was taken away the night he decided
to kill himself and end his tyranny
she knew it wasnt just a simple nightmare that,
she could easily forget, it was much more, it was
what had truelly happened in a single nights
twist, that would leave her here to suffer and
dwell on none other than the truth and
facts of what she considered the worst
nightmare that wouldnt fade
Author notes
'.'
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I can really feel the emotions ruinning wild through this, you did an excellent job with all the feelings. It was almost like a story. Nice Job.
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I really liked your poem but I have a couple suggestions:
1) in stanza 4 line 3 supposedly instead of supposebly and
2) I know that the font color and background adds effect but you might want to pick colors with a little more contrast so that the poem is a little more visible.
Great job and keep up the good work
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Yeah this was good. It was full of emotions and you told the story well.
I guess I missed something, but I don't really understand the purpose of repeating four stanzas at the end, it made the poem more tedious than it needed to be.
On the fourth line of the first stanza I think you have a typo, it should be "tarnish."
On the second line of the nineth stanza it should be "taken."
Take care
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wow..so full of emotions!! so from the soul...i love this!!
nooreo
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This is a good write, full of emotions and a question of why, it's never any ones fault, I lived through this when I was younger, there was a note left for me. Read Good bye boy, not as deep with emotions but tells of the story. Other then going back and reading this and fixing some spelling, wonderfuly done.
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wow this takes my breath away i love the poetry its so true...... it just makes me sigh...... i love this poem it is outstanding.
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