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My Colorless Soul~

Missing image

 

 

I am stark, having bared all

nothing left but untouched white

unable to stain this cloak of pain

unable to darken this hollowed soul

only nothingness left to this whole

You wrap this transparency

with the purity of my soul

nothing else can be withstood

no tears to bleed, no heart to flow

blends into absolute

monotony

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Whoochi
#1



Pain has left me colorless......


Abstract~~~

In a list

A contest entry

What does it make you feel?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 99 of 157     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • DarkLadyDragoness
    October 5
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    Very beautiful and touching.


  • Swan song gold member
    September 11
    Edit | Reply
    Rich and heart felt. A lovely smooth flow!!!! it makes me feel sadness but also I tinge of beauty also flows into from this


  • Puppydog gold member
    July 18
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    SO DEEP FROM THE HEART!!!

    One holds heartache and pain close, and with time one becomes lost, without showing feelings or emotions anymore. 's


  • loud whispers
    July 16
    Edit | Reply
    aww im sorry you feel this way... its horrible to wear a cloak of white.
    love love love


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    July 10

    Edit | Reply
    Tis is the stage of the amalgamation..and it happens when all the directions are losts ...and you are left with a direction which reaches only to one direction and that direction is neautral...wonderful poetry...


  • xeroabyss II
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    At least in this colorless purity there is no marred, pitch tinted taint of hatred, darkness and despiar to blacken, wither and rot the heart.
    Just the simplicty of content, mayhaps even serene apathy to drift upon as if an uncaring cloud thralled to anywhere by the wind.
    I clicked the random "I might like...", and came across this, good show on the part of the site, as this is a pretty good read to envoke a sort of sense of peace.
    -cheers


  • Gratitude
    May 29
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is a strong write. Very well done, and good luck in all the contests.


  • thepoetssoul
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully sad..
    I really felt this piece of poetry, and very happy I got to read such talent
    Really really good, be blessed in all you do.

    Tony


  • usefuldistraction
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    Great descriptives, loved this pain filled poetic jouney. I like your voice in this piece, pain and wisdom mixed.


  • RoxxxyNow
    January 31
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    very nice...beautiful and interesting


  • Uniquely-Scarred
    June 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    fantastic poem


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    May 17, 2008
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    Beautiful!!!

    Brilliant!!!

  • Ulimate
    April 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    *hugs*

    What a great powerful poem! Well done.


  • Keith Drew gold member
    February 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    X

    I know the feeling well.
    But in the end, in every negative, there is a positive.
    Its just like the seasons, a long winter to bare.Then comes the sun.
    Beautiful hun BEAUTIFUL!


  • HeLovesMeNot
    February 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    I love the beauty of your words, they are so intense and emotional. you are truly and outstanding poet. I look forward to reading more of your poems.


  • Dutch Doll
    January 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Glad you were able to publish this, beautiful work, congrats on the HM's too.

    blessings always,
    adriana

  • djfrombahston
    January 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    PUBLISHED!!!!

    Today is the special day!!! You should be soo proud that this poem is offically published. You owe me a copy of the book "sealed with a kiss"!!! You can present it to me in your special way in 23 days. Love you sweetie. You are the greatest!!!


  • raggyann
    December 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was outstanding
    congrats on your tropys
    well deserved
    this is deep and intense those are the right words
    great job
    on this beautiful poem
    i love your first line in this poem


  • CherryOnTop
    December 12, 2007
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    Congrats on your trophies!!Well deserved.This is gorgeous.Intense!!


  • nickkiwick
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is so deep and intense! Great job your feelings and emotions come blasting through this poem Whoochi!


  • Papyrus
    May 9, 2007
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    Yes, pain is numbing...

    I loved this poem, and the way the picture really goes along with it. Great write, really. And I know what you mean, I think, when you say that "Pain has left me colorless......" because all the pain that I go through makes my emotions numb...almost like the pain doesn't affect me anymore. Is this what you mean? Or mabey that the colors that have left you are symbolic of the bright and vast array of the different emotions you used to have, which have been dulled by the pain you have experienced? Well, being colorless now must mean that you had color at one time, weather you thought of that while you were writing thr poem or not. Either way, I think I understand what you mean. And I take it that God is testing me.
    Thanx-Papyrus


    • Papyrus
      December 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      <

      this couldn't be more true than it is now...

  • Keith Drew gold member
    November 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Hun do you wanna dance?
    I will color you in movements, that blend into eyes then looked within.
    For no color better in this world, then of leaving the past behind. And you the butterfly alighting free within the garden of your life. Fly hun FLY! Spread your wings and touch the sky.Let no lost love to make your heart to ever cry.


  • ravensgift
    November 23, 2007
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    This was beautiful. I love this line:
    unable to stain this cloak of pain
    Great Job....


  • crimsondew
    November 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Love it!

    Wonderful line
    unable to stain this cloak of pain
    I see this got you many trophies...Well deserved...


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    October 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful congrats on the previously won trophies good luck in the contest. It also looks lovely with the white background just has a feel about it


  • Never Fall in Love
    October 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Colourless soul - a bit like how I feel these days. A constant routine of living and merely existing [can`t call this life]

    I relate to this poem much and the effect it has on me is something I just can't seem to explain.

    The picture is breathtaking though

    Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
    Never ♥


  • bw43
    September 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    it sounds like it isn't only about innocence tainted but also about the emptiness... the death of a soul. the realization that all hope is lost and nothing will ever be the same again.

    very sad. and dark, despite it's colorlessness


  • Endeavor gold member
    September 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    with the purity of my soul
    nothing else can be withstood
    no tears to bleed, no heart to flow
    blends into absolute

    monotony

    A blend of multilevel posibilties

    I believe I know the thought you prefure

    It matters little, This is very well read

    Rick


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    September 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Amazed that was vivid and flowing

    oh man! now look what you have done, i'm green with
    envy, at how you understand the words! You certainly
    do not hide behind them and bare it all without well..
    puking them out! Great Job, will read more in the morning and LEARN FROM YOU!
    Thankyou for sharing and the lesson too : ))


  • transit
    August 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    hmmmm... very nice poem here. This can be interpreted in many ways I think. I interpreted it as an innocent person who has now turned into a not-so-innocent person.

    She has gone through so much pain nothing can be done anymore. and there's nothing left in her soul too. and now, she's like a vacuum. with nothing left. I was left speachless upon reading this. It really was brilliant!

    bravo!
    cristiano99~

  • Virgoan
    August 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like the dripping of gray areas in this piece.

    Lovely write.

    Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing my friend.

    >>>VIRGOAN

  • Uniquely-Scarred
    August 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is wonderful love the natural flow to this poem, and for being such a small poem it realy does say a lot this poem deserves some high accolades its wonderful, best of luck in this contest

  • Bob Fox
    August 24, 2007
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    Emotions

    Oh how I wish I could just be transparent& without emotions. No pain, No soul, No anger

  • Bob Fox
    August 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Removing


  • soldiersoul gold member
    August 22, 2007
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    now thats cookin with bleach


  • Maddogk
    August 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written. Leaves one's heart stained with the nothingness of cold hard realities....

    "no tears to bleed, no heart to flow
    blends into absolute monotony"

    WOW, and well done..

    Jeffro


  • Kappa Pyua
    August 20, 2007
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    interesting

    Interesting interpratation of this picture, thanks and good luck in the contest.

  • PureCountry
    August 15, 2007
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    Wonderful Imagery

    To be able to get the point of colorless with such tramatic words. WOW! You pen did not fail you on this one at all my friend. You never cease to amaze me with the thoughts I find contained on your page. (I like the come fly with me picture on your page.)


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    August 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love the way that you took this
    picture and brought it to life.
    Beautiful work here my friend and
    congratulations to you on your trophy!
    Always a pleasure to read you. Keep
    up the wonderful work here!




    Jeremy0826

  • Papyrus
    July 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think i commented on this one before, and I'm sure that you don't want any more!...but I decided to read this again and I find it ironic that the picture you posted is one that I had recently seen on a picture website, although I was able to download the artist's work w/out the words across the middle of it. lol. but no matter, it is good to source your pictures. lol.

    --what is it like getting sooo many coments about your poems? and how do you find the time to read them all?

    ???,
    -Pap.

  • Improv Machinery
    July 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    i love it

    this poem has me absolutely floored. ive had feelings brewing in my head for the longest while that this poem just brought right out of me. im in a very rough spot in my life at the moment and, i dont really know how to say this, its pretty much a picture of how i see myself every morning, noon, and night. you are a fantastic writer, dont you ever stop.
    Rob

  • Eleanor Rice
    July 17, 2007
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    its amazing....with every line the numbness gets stonger........i love it...


  • tawk gold member
    July 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    So unique and full of emotions. Such wonderful imagery. No one ever wants to be alone. Excellent write


  • coffeeangel316
    July 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is so good and I think you did a wonderful job.

  • Endeavor gold member
    July 14, 2007
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    Excellent


    wrap this transparency
    with the purity of my soul
    nothing else can be withstood
    no tears to bleed, no heart to flow
    blends into absolute
    monotony

    There is a certain clarity and purity
    and perhaps safty, in hitting pause to think

    The opening words set the stage
    for this powerfull ending

    Rick


  • Puppydog gold member
    July 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    BEAUTIFULLY EXPRESSED!

    We sometimes have our very souls destroyed only to be left alone and without anyone to stay with us and be a friend. This is truly a terrifying feeling.


  • alexandrathegreat
    July 14, 2007
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    The rhyme flows deep into my heart. Quite an introduction, have seen you many times, but a shame I have never greated you. Wonderful imagery, this poem sings straight out of the page to me. The end fits perfectly, thank you for the great read and a pleasure to meet you
    Chelsea Alexandra


  • midnight eyes
    July 13, 2007
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    aw, what a beautiful poem.


    Amber


  • pattyann4500
    July 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love this excellent piece. From every word, the stark white background and the near-colorness form in the picture, the entire piece is presented beautifully. Great job! Congratulations on your HM. Hugs, Patricia

  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    July 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very thought provoking
    picture and piece you have written
    here. I am sure that many of us have
    felt like this before in our lives.
    It is a terrible feeling and one
    that we try to avoid in life.

    Great work with this my friend!
    Good luck to you with it in the
    contest and thanks a lot for
    sharing it here!




    Jeremy0826


  • grannyeri gold member
    July 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Liked the presentation of this piece - lack of color goes well with the words written; good flow and somethings a few can relate to in this poem.


  • Lauren Alexandra
    July 2, 2007

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    Brilliantly Colorless

    Given of yourself to the point of spiritual sanguination is so painful and cannot only left you colorless but – invisible.

    The words you have used here paint us a picture in pure white.

    nothing left but untouched white
    unable to stain this cloak of pain
    unable to darken this hollowed soul
    only nothingness left to this whole

    Very strong and vividness that is ironic.

    We poet and other artists are the true loves and givers of who we are. We express ourselves and only wish to have the rich palette that we paint on… be reflected back to us.

    Once again you have shown us that you are a special lady and that your walls are clear; we see and are here for you.

    Thank you for just being and living the life of a poet and beautiful soul that IS muiltcolored.

    With all my love,

    Lauren


  • Inside and out
    July 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is brilliant! Creative and clever and easy to relate to. Well done my friend.


  • ImogenSky
    June 30, 2007

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    how is it that something is able to lock a hold of us and drain ourselves from our bodies? so many things hold that power...it shouldn't be like that. I've felt that way many times before...I loved this poem.


  • aslanlight
    June 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Maybe this numb place we sometimes go to into is a form of self protection until we're ready to face up to things again? Anyway it's a stunning poem. As always you kick arse with your words, they're so powerful! (like you!)

    Peace Georgia


  • Zero the Hero silver member
    June 27, 2007

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    cool hard and sad

    thought provoking write, makes you look inside yourself, I understand your pain for i have been there too often. An outstanding poem sad hard but real ,, thank you


  • Sesheta
    June 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Gaspingly beautiful poetry...such words, such sentences, such message...truly relatable and so very...sad? True? Melancholy? Depressing? I do not know...Perfection, through and through. Amazing job.

  • dandelioness
    June 25, 2007
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    anemia
    setting in
    drained
    and siphoned
    you have taken
    all
    i have no more
    to give

  • piccola silver member
    June 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    odd, how many of us feel this way at times. As though maybe the soul has been left without colour and pale..
    transluscent maybe,


  • poeticweaver gold member
    June 20, 2007
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    Awesome,

    I feel this way many a days, pale as thin air, depression flowss through my veins out of nowhere..I just wish I could feel nothing instead of pain, to taste of living waters of rain. -sighs- I hope you feel something else beside the growing pains in this life. Much love, light, and laughter. Peace, your friend, Timothy~


  • The-Phoenix
    June 19, 2007
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    White has never been so powerful.
    Excellent work.
    ~Phoenix

  • Endeavor gold member
    June 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent


    You did well in concaying absolutely emptyness

    I felt myself faling into a spriling depression

    CooL... lol

    Wonderfull crafting of dark words, my friend

    Rick


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    June 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "unable to stain this cloak of pain

    unable to darken this hollowed soul"

    wonderful lines, I like it


  • Kari gold member
    June 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, such strong emotion and feeling in this...Don't give up faith. Remember that Karma is the revenge in the end of those whom have hurt you so just hold your head high and remember that always.
    Wonderful job tho..I loved it and can relate to this poem very well.

    Kari

  • luvdrkchocolate
    June 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Oh. This is some poem that you have here. I loved the picture at the top. It is very dramatic and I think that it sets your poem up very well. You used just the right amount of words to show how badly you felt inside at that time. I hope that you felt better after writing this. And I think that you did a good job of expressing yourself.


  • 2lullabyhaven
    June 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    Pain surely has the capacity to do some harsh powerful things for sure. This piece is raw and uncompromised.
    A pleasure to review. Good luck in the contest. lol

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    June 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    well done for the honourable mention for this piece which effectively portrays that which obscures everything and leaves the world opaque,liked the colourless reference


  • Steven Beesley
    June 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful piece of work.

    No that is one lovely write! The diction, flow and imagery are truly excellent to say the least. ABSOULUTELY AMAZING!


  • Samplette gold member
    June 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great piece of poetry. I have never looked at "cloaked" as anything other than blackness. You have made me see it in a soft pearl.
    Sam


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    June 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    The feelings in this I can really relate to. Very well conveyed. Well done. Congratulations on the HM and good luck in other contests.

    Jeannie


  • slipperssun gold member
    June 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow... this actually makes sense... never thoughtof feelings like these relating to colour... i lovve the pic you put with it too...well done
    cheers
    Jen


  • esroddo silver member
    June 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thats simply beautiful

    The words that you used flowed so wonderfully. I like these lines (Lisa)
    "You wrap this transparency

    with the purity of my soul

    nothing else can be withstood

    no tears to bleed, no heart to flow

    blends into absolute

    monotony"

  • liveheart
    June 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Absolute brutal honesty! A necessary place, a turning point, a beginning where one might begin to grow,or even REBORN. So much harmony, no confusion. I'm touched an enlighten. Your write is incredible, your experience is a miracle...much love!!!


    • Whoochi gold member
      June 12, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      H...

      TY! WE have grown, yes, into something that nobody will ever compare to....


  • Euphy
    June 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is amazing. I love the pic with the poem, its a great combo, put the poem itself is still amazing. I love how well you rhymed this and it wasn't ... it was good. Lol! I don't know how to word it, but this is great. Cheers. =]
    -Kiara Kuro


  • Rele anmwe
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is brilliant piece of work. OO wee, you are awesome. I need to pay more care to your writing. This is just like wow, love it


  • astralshepherd gold member
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is a wonderful poem, dear jewel of a poet, i love the concept, the stark sense here of being completely drain, colorless, as if rain has washed all away and the sun forgot to cast a rainbow, i get a hollow feeling, an echo in a stainless steel room - too bright, too cold, and isolated. This poem is, as i said, wonderful, but ( i have a very big but ) it should be re-visited. I don’t mean to re-write this one, it should be kept...what i'd like to see is you write another one, using these words, phrases in a new poem that expands and explores more deeply your soul and these emotions you wrestle with daily - the inner contrasts that are fighting to surface in your most recent writings convince me you have much, much more to say on this topic. Read, if you would Gallway Kinell’s poem “First Song” listen to the sounds in the poem, feel the richness of image he has. Go and find Gerard Manly Hopkins, Denise Levertov, David Ignatow…read the way they dip in an out of the uncouncous stream of image and metaphor, the way they use sound in the poems and it will give you an idea, a little idea, of what I am ‘talking’ about. Dear poet, you are a waking country, borderless, vast shores of shining wonder lap against your stirred rising – may you ever grow more and more adventurous. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard


  • Roaddog Wolf
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    now I really liked this one

    great word usage and metaphor this is a beautiful piece
    "You wrap this transparency

    with the purity of my soul" very nicely penned


  • arafura gold member
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    absolute monotony...

    The image is colorless... but the imagery you evoke is vivid with the colors of life and pain!

    Excellent!


  • myrataal silver member
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Pain sketched as such ...

    becomes visual in its transparency; tactile in its distance, a turmoil of color in its monotony!

    This write is so powerful, and so true, it gives me a cushion to punch.

    Wow.

    Thank you.
    Love
    Myra

  • EncounteredEpiphany
    June 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    GREAT WRITE

    This was really great and very well expressed! LO-AMO SALUTE!!!


  • ProudMomma
    June 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wonderful write i love it!!!! and this poem paints a picture in my mind of the way i feel on some days and tears begin to roll across my face... i love this poem great write good luck in the contests!


  • blueyez
    June 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love this write!!!! So expressive! To be completely colorless! Peace and Love


  • coffeeangel316
    June 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is such a good write.Keep penning.


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    June 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh awesome.... a winner for sure...a mature look and delve into that place of blocking, that place of numbness.


  • guruist
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I dig this revelational piece. It is so vulnerable and fearsome. You know to bare ourselves emotionally and soulfully to someone is so much to bear. Just because we are ready to trust doesn't necessary mean it is time to trust. There is always that fear that our trust will be abuse and yet the hope that it will be cared for.Thanx for the write and the wonderful thoughts. Terrell


  • swanridur
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful.......I can feel the hollowness in the words 'unable to stain this cloak of pain' very emotive got me thinking.....Swan


  • Ativan
    June 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow- I really liked this. You were not wordy, you were descriptive, clever and overall a good job. I suggest that you look at the picture for five minutes and just think if you know what I mean. There is so much more to say, but the current length is good and mind proving as well. Great job- keep writing-
    -AtiVan


  • Indeed
    May 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Insane

    It makes me feel like there is nothing to live for, pretty much. it's really good. and its the perfect words for the point of view of a depressed soul. It makes me sad, and i was very depressed at one point. i basically make every one of my poems about happy. ..i'm addicted to happiness...
    And yet this poem is so sad.
    Very Powerful, though. either way.


  • Cannonsfire
    May 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Pain always reminds me of white, stark and clinical. You write pain in this with that vivid image in my head. Love, C


  • Kleyda14
    May 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I loved the poem and the picture matchs it perfectly. Well done.


  • Janice M Pickett
    May 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    I rate this 3*


  • Janice M Pickett
    May 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    I Love this poem

    I hope you don't mind me selecting it for consideration in the AP Poetry Book
    HUGS


  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    May 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This poem sounds like the product of a lot of pain, but remember what Kahlil Gibran wrote - "The deeper sorrow carves into your being, the more joy it can contain." I think that's true.

    Thanks for the comments on my work recently. I appreciate it. You've got a unique voice. I'll be checking out your other poems today.

    Take care,

    Mark


  • poetryality silver member
    May 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    It makes me feel cold and bland to read this. I hope you take a moment to dip your soul into the rainbow of life. I cannot imagine this, the white or its extreme, the black. Not in their totality anyway. This is indeed a stark poem. It bellows with underlying help! Another intense work here poet.


    Much Love ♥

    Renee


  • ellipsist
    May 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow...

    beautiful work... it conveys such a sense of emptiness, sadness, hopelessness, despair... and seems to convey that is results in apathy or indifference, boredom... incredibly intriguing...


  • Girl With Guitar silver member
    May 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    That is an amazing photograph. I truly love how you've created a feeling to go with the actual photo, usually with poetry like such the pice does not successfully relate itself emotion-wise.
    Good luck in the biggest contest, I believe you shall do great.

    Another thing, using both "purity" AND "monotony" is sheer brilliance. Amazing how you've brought the contrasting views, white being percieved as pure and innocence but then yes, it is also seen as blank and bland. Great write.


  • devils muse
    May 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very beautifull....but saddly enough there is nothing pure nor has there ever been anything it seems


  • Congruence
    May 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    I liked the second half - liked the language and use of words, felt more inspirational and creative. A good piece. Just one note, the first line 'I am stark having bared all' Needs something after 'stark' possibly a , or a -

    I liked this.

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