I lay on a damp perch that sits near the wall of a soaking alley,
Staring upward.
Clothes are wet and grained with dirt,
Staining my shirt, and
Soaking through to stain my skin as well.
The mist of rain is bleak and merely present,
But is evident, only, …with the blissful kiss
Of moon-shine that seeps through it.
The stars dangle there between the high buildings
Shining down on me.
Parading about, and dancing before my drizzling eyes.
A shooting star falls downward,
I never see shooting stars.
It strokes the sky like a piece of chalk in a dead hand
Falling on a blackboard.
Screeching
Screeching
In my ears.
I never see shooting stars.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i lovee thiiiiiss! atfirst i wasnt into the whole star thing is seemed to easy and common at first then the last line changed my mind. this is awesome.
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Good use of sibilance here, for example, 'see shooting stars'. I liked the imagery here, especially the natural imagery, I loved the rain. It added a sense of realism to the poem as I'm so used to rain
Good use of repetition and onomatopoeia with 'screeching screeching'.
Pozo
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Question?
If you are 21 and the oldest man on Earth, fuck, what does that make me at 36? -
Go to the corner and think about what you have done.
But is evident, only, …with the blissful kiss
Of moon-shine that seeps through it.
The stars dangle there between the high buildings
Shining down on me.
No matter where you are, deep in the dark, the universe is infinite, the stars shine on long after their time. Light travels fast and far and the stars are gone by the time the light reaches to us.
Glad to see you have posted, it has been a long while. The moon-shine you speak of seeping through it, is "it" your liver? Ha, ha.
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what should i say? you knwo what there is to say about this poem. you wrote it. the simplicity is...magnificent, glorious. i'm killing the simplicity with gross adjectives.
and the truth rinsg throughout. you dont' see the stars, you're old, you don't dream. i'm looking too much into this perhaps. i'm in an ambitious mood tonight.
how i wish you were friends with the beats.
-nadia
by the way, you know i adore your poetry.
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