Bend
Tend to buck
Struck a hard day's sale
Bale upon bale, load the truck
Soften, whimper, slice
Loud as ice
Proud
Proud
Whiskey cloud
Frisky knees and jump
Lump momentary joy with
"Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy"
Not the last
Blast.
A contest entry
- Something Different by Welcome-To-Hell.
875 points, ended May 9, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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The first stanza is missing both lines with 7 syllables the second stanza is missing 1 line with 7 syllables and 1 line with 9 syllables and the final word is supposed to be the same as the first word
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mistake, but not that mistake
I got the structure wrong. I am so stupid. I did 1-3-5-7-5-3-1 instead of 1-3-5-7-9-7-5-3-1.
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seems like you are still dancing to me. liked it. only you know its meaning. keep writing. tell you a secret. they have this special place in hell for critics. they have to listen to their own words for an eternity.
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hell
Hehe, I'll be in that section of hell. Thing is, I'm in love with my own words, so I might like it.
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Your poem brings an image of a hardworker, though I'm not sure anymore if I'm interpreting your poems correctly. But someone told me it's not always what the writer meant to express in the poem that's important. It's also important that the reader took something out of the poem.
The rhymes and the structure of your poem is interesting. I think I understood enough what the first stanza meant, but I'm lost on the second. -
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yep
I'm not sure this one means much, so whatever you get from it is probably better. And yes, I'm always delighted whatever someone takes away from the poem, even if its totally their own interpretation. If I wanted to communicate clearly, I'd write an essay.
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