outside,
water dances on metal and pine--
the rain falls like italy,
gives a bath to my balcony
inside,
i'm alone
staring dryly at the sailboat
docked on a sea of dead carpet
somewhere,
language doesn't exist
and he and i could sit on couches,
jeans unbuttoned,
poetry and peppermint tea in hand
we could close our eyes
and make songs
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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At "language doesn't exist" it begins to enchant.
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Wow, that is a lovely poem.
It's like I want to experience what you are talking about but I'm not sure it would ever come together for me.
I like the quiet tone your words invoke, just kind of dreaming with words. I especially like last seven lines, those are most beautiful to me.
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This is astoundingly beautiful, you know that right? Well, if not, you do now. The flow is spot on and the assonance made me shiver a bit. Every line is flawless and I wish I could throw this like confetti off into a canal.
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Rich with imagery and wistful thinking.
This sounds like a perfect rainy afternoon:
"somewhere,
language doesn't exist
and he and i could sit on couches,
jeans unbuttoned,
poetry and peppermint tea in hand
we could close our eyes
and make songs"
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gorgeous
beautiful poem.
me gusta mucho. poetry and peppermint tea really do go hand in hand, i have found. sorry it took so long for me to comment on this poem, but words and inspiration seem to come and go nowadays.
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Drawn in by the title alone, what a simile. The imagery in this short picturesque narrative is wonderful. Peppermint tea evokes alot of memories for me and the relaxed nature of unbuttoned jeans goes along way to set the tone of a relaxing rainy day. Wishful thinking at it's best.
Jim
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